Digital bastard readout: 208.5
Supposed total loss: 6 pounds

I know I should be jumping up and down, but I've seen what the digibast has done to me before. I need to see this pattern for a week before I get my hopes up. Anyway, I still am morbidly obese, so I can't celebrate. My first goal is 199. When I break the 200 mark, I will make a reasonable goal (like maybe 150 which still will be too much for the medical assholes).

Ok, so I guess anyone can see that I slept through the night. More vivid dreams. I met up with my first boss as a speech pathologist. Her name was (is?) Denise Ward and she was beautiful, WAY tall, and one of the best people to work for. I think she lived in NW Indiana (the school was in a Southern burb of Chicago). So if anyone knows her (her hubby's name was (is?) Jerry), give her a "hey" from me. I think she would most likely remember me. ;-)

Anywho, the "X" doesn't seem to be affecting my sleep. That's good. Yesterday at about 6pm I was near a teeth grinding state and I found myself speaking QUITE LOUDLY! I am on the....oh let's say HYPER...side without the "X" so it's frightening to see it turned up to 11. <---If you don't get the reference, it's your loss.

I go back to work this morning. I could just weep! Why didn't I lose weight sooner? I am going to be trapped for a week in meetings and cleaning my office and setting up files and I have all of these "normal" clothes I bought like real jeans and I am ~snif~ going to ~snif~ be ~snif~ so un~sob~comfortable ~wail~

Yeah, I decided the leggings just had to go. Caught sight of myself as I passed a store window this summer. I had a flashback of my dad talking about a neighbor who wore them when I was a kid, only we were more honest back then. They weren't "leggings," they were "stretch pants." And only fat people wore them! So anyway, everytime my dad saw this lady he would say that her ass was two ax-handles wide.

So I was passing by one of those big store front bay windows...the kind where you can catch a glimpse of yourself using your peripheral vision so you don't look vain. As a younger me I used to like these windows because you could see yourself from several angles and I thought it was cool to see myself as perhaps others did. Now I normally avert my eyes when passing any reflective surface. So I was passing that window, and first I thought, "Hey, am I crazy or are there 2 axhandles in that window?" Then I realized it was my ass's reflection.

I noticed something yesterday at the Mall. For the last decade or so, I have only bought my clothes as such fashion temples as Target, Walmart and such. I might grab a pair of panties as I make my way through a Department store on my way to the center of the Mall. I buy nice things for other people, but not me. So anyway. I noticed that in the stores I usually frequent, my size clothes are called "Plus." That's just one step away from "FatAss." But in the department stores, my sizes are referred to as "Women's."

So. I'm not fat. I am a woman.

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