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2001-08-18 - 1:05 p.m.

The Cast

UPDATED August 30, 2006
It might be hard to know who I am talking about without at least a small description of my cast of Characters. I don't really want to use real names, so here goes:

MOTH This would be the Man Of The House, my Lover, my Husband, my Best Friend. We met on line in 1998 and married on June 15 2002. He IS my completion. Forever.

Eldest My eldest child (24), male. He graduated with a degree in economics and is now in the work force. He has managed to hang on to his awesome girlfriend, Meg, ...and I still miss him horribly. I can't hug him enough when we are together.

Finchie (21...legal) My youngest son, who is a sophomore at WIU and majoring in psychology. He will be brilliant in his chosen career path if h doesn't become a life-long student! He needed two extra hours in the womb and 2 extra years in his room before he was ready to go, but he LOVES what he is doing, and how can a mom hate that? I miss his laugh on a daily basis. He has a twin sister;

Beast My daughter, 21 year old twin of Finchie. I need to come up with another name for her. When I started this blog, she was a whole different person. She named herself Beast, by the way! She was the second to fly from the nest after graduating high school early. She lived and went to school for awhile at the University of Arkansas, but quit to establish residency and make some money for school. She fell in love with her job, and has transferred to Charlotte North Carolina. She's going to transfer back to Fayetteville soon, I think. She found a home there. I admire the woman she is and the courage she has. She is so much like me, only so much more.


Heidi My kitty, traumatized by mental cruelty inflicted by jackass when a kitten. She ain't so friendly. She's definitely gotten "younger" with Bug in the house!

Bug, MOTH and my kitty. She is a cutie the very BEST lap cat I've ever had, although if she were to ever be schooled, she'd be riding the short yellow bus.


Mom and Dad, married over 50 years and the best role models, bar none, in the world; Karen, my older sister,who has been married to the preacher for more than 30 years and probably the SECOND best role model in the world (and mother of 3 including my God daughter),

babysis would be, uh, my baby sister, married to John Holmes (and mother of the single most beautiful baby girl on the planet, Addison and handsome twin boys JT and TD), and

little bro my little brother (a wonderful and devoted father of 5), a handsome devil and one of the best human beings on the planet. HE a newlywed and his amazing wife and new stepdaughters have brought peace, happiness and a new sense of Christian lifestyle to him. He's fun.


EX-1 First ex-hubby. Dad to my kids. Won't say much bad about him, not publicly. It doesn't matter, though, because they are at an age where they see him for what he is, a deadbeat at best. We are, unfortunately, partners for life because of the 3 kids. How the heck can you teach your kids to do the right thing, be nice, be fair, if you aren't nice and fair to their own dad? I try to set the example. Sometimes I fail. But I do try.

jackass Ex-hubby #2. (Don't be a smart-ass. There are only 2 ex's.) Jackass is an alcoholic racist sexist mass of anal retentive obsessive compulsive crap. And those are his good qualities.


DCL A group of misfits, myself amongst them, who found each other on the internet several years ago when chat rooms were new and the word "java" still meant coffee. We have had parties, we have dwindled in number. We turn to each other when in celebration and in sorrow. We are proof that people CAN meet on-line and can form virtual friendships that are quite real. Some of the DCL are bloggers, like JohnnieV and MKM and Jazzy and BillF. Others, like LL have been quoted and/or are regular guestbook visitors. I wish LL would do some kind of blog, she is one of the funniest people I know.

JES My friend who is a lifer at University of Pennsylvania. She is a card-carrying diploma holding library lady! And she is as demented as I am, only worse because she is so much younger. I was once her supervisor at an Answering Service (Oh, that's a diary of its own, let me tellya!)

Pit Bull A good friend who would bite the leg off of anyone she perceived as giving me an ounce of grief. "Want me to kick his ass, man?" She was my boss, and lured me back to work with the oddest assortment of behaviorally challenged students ever...and then she left to run the school we own in Arizona!

Fannie is MOTH's sister, and now MY sister, a great friend, and a frequent signer of my guestbook.

Egon Walloo aka Goose Gossimer is a very special man, a writer whom I deeply admire, a bleeding heart liberal (I forgive him) and a true gentle soul.


Digital Bastard My digital scale, the lying piece of shit upon which I sometimes stand when I am heavy into punishing myself. When I am at risk of burning up too many calories by repeatedly typing the full "digital bastard," I will resort to its nick name: digibast.

"X" Xenedrine. My EX-diet pills. Killer caffeine.

"Z" or LYB "Little Yellow Buddy" (formerly LBB or Little BLUE Buddy until the Dr. upped my dose!). Zoloft. It made me calmer, less obsessive and no side effects that I could. I didn't binge eat if/when I took it. The key word is IF. Unfortunately, a side effect I DIDN'T know about was weight gain! So Dr. changed me. I recently tried it again to work on the compulsive aspect of my eating, but my body did NOT respond well to it. So, since falling asleep at the table in the middle of my own sentences wouldn't work well, I decided that I would have to tackle this without the help of by buddy.

"F" = Effexsor My newest ex-pharmaceutical buddy. Actually, it worked well, but I had a psychotic experience while weaning off of it. It joins Prozac and a few others whose names I've forgotten!

"W"= Wellbutrin was ok. At least I had no seizures on it. At the moment, I am antidepressant free

WW Weight Watchers. My on-again off-again (currently ON again) method. Along with my LYB, it is the only thing so far that has worked, and the only thing I think I could use as a method to control my weight for the rest of my life.

More will be added as needed.


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