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Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2004 - 5:34 P.M.
From DiagnosIs to DiagnosEs
Ok, so last night at about 3:30 am, an interesting (sort of) thing happened. I finally had what I'd consider a productive cough. The result was 3/4 of my left lung came up. I never knew that my lungs were such an intense shade of green. Sensing that perhaps this had progressed beyond the common cold, I rang up my Dr. today (from work) and managed, by some miracle, to get an appointment. It might have been that I told the receptionist that I thought I had pneumonia.
So I barely made it through work, found myself seeing spots a few times, breathless most of the day. My ears felt plugged and that made me feel dizzy at times. But being the trooper I am, I made it to the end and bolted out in just enough time to arrive at the office 2 minutes late. Which gave me just enough time to sit and wait for 42 minutes trying not to cough all over the waiting room filled with little children and old folks who were waiting for the shots that keep them healthy. Have you ever tried NOT to cough?????
When the nurse finally got to me, she opened up the chart and was kind of shocked...."You might have PNEUMONIA?!?!?"
Jeeze. I explained that I was just kind of playing with the unplayful receptionist....that I wouldn't dream of self diagnosis....but then again, I said, I have these symptoms.....and proceeded to list what had been going on with (and out of) my body over the last week.
She was impressed. Even more so when she had me blow into a peak-flow meter, on which I should have been at the 600 mark. Yeah, well, after 3 cracks at it I only got as high as 325. So, perhaps the fact that I only had about 1/2 of my lung capacity might account for the breathlessness, and the spots.
YA THINK????
So. Doc comes in not so happy with my number (he's a cutie and a wonderful wonderful informative excellent doctor!), and so he's asking me questions while he's poking and prodding and listening and tapping. In between he interjects his diagnosis...which quickly became the plural diagnoses.
Definitely got some bronchial trouble here...bronchitis: that's 1.
Breathe in....breathe out....cough (we don't turn our heads)....breathe again.....sounds like we have pneumonia. That would be 2.
Problem with balance and ear pressure? Let's look....oh wow, this left ear is really red with fluid backing up. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a hat trick (or a triple for you Cubs fans).
So I begin to tell him the good news about how I found a wonderful product that healed the cracked skin around my nose, and before I could get the name of the product out, he rammed a light up there and interrupts with, are you ready....oh gee, this is a staff infection here in your nose. GRAND SLAM!
"Hey Doc, got anything else in that bag for me? Gout perhaps?"
He just chuckled, as he has at me for 21 years, and filled a goodie bag full of free meds. I got me an inhaler (Advair) and some horse-pill antibiotics, and some antibiotic cream for my nose. And then....
"IbePiglet. You NEED to SLEEP."
Ok. Yes, I agree.
"So I'm writing you a prescription for some cough medicine with codeine." Cooooooool.
And then he asked about work and I said that it was pretty good and that I'd taken several days off and just got back, and that if I could just stay locked up in my office and not get into any physical managements it would be fine.
"Ibe Piglet." He stated my name kinda firmly, like in a way he didn't even do when I told him to go to hell when he wanted me to push out eldest and I wasn't ready.
"You don't have any choice in this. You are HIGHLY infectious."
I guess when he puts it that way, I have to listen. So he wrote me a note. And I'm home for the weekend. And it's only Wednesday.
It would be fun if it weren't for the phlegm.
Damn phlegm.
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