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Sunday, Nov. 07, 2004 - 10:15 P.M.

Extreme Viewing



I was completely taken in a long time ago by these fix-em-up shows. Yeah, I was the first on the block to latch on Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen's evil ways of making his victims cry. He was the original, long before Hilde or Doug. In fact, it took a long time before I could even watch Trading Spaces because i was so loyal to the original Changing Rooms on BBC America. What first made the show tolerable for me was Ty Pennington. Yeah, I'm a sap for buff guys with tool belts. Especially if they have a sense of humor and don't take themselves nor their good looks too seriously.

Before long, I was pretty much an expert on all of the shows. Yeah, I've been with While You Were Out through all three hosts (most people don't even KNOW there was a host before Theresa Strasser!), and with Surprise by Design before Robert Verdi was a pop culture icon.

As with most of television, these original programs with an interesting premise soon produce a glut of poorly produced offshoots. Most of them are just unwatchable, even for me which really is saying quite a bit!

Then Ty went away and was replaced by Amy Wynn Pastor and a couple of other interchangeable hunky tool-belt-wearers. And then Ty resurfaced on ABC with his new show Extreme Makeover - Home Edition.

OK, so first of all, I'm taken in because this is the original American television home makeover carpenter, ok , the first one since since Bob Villa but that's really been a long time ago, so just go with me on this. Ty is what drew me in to watch the show. It only took one show to hook me in, because they do this amazing from the ground up makeover of homes for worthy families. And they really are worthy families. I mean there have been families of like 12 kids whose parents died tragically, and some of the fire fighters who survived the 9/11 tragedy...each show containing a little heavier tear jerking moment at some point until even I started to get cynical. I mean, this one guy, Paul, cries every week on cue. They ALL cry. The people who submit their requests cry, it started getting really uncomfortable to watch.

Tonight was a two-hour special. Ok, I'm intrigued. The family? A deaf couple with two children.

Pass the hankies.

The youngest child? Blind.

~sniff~

And also autistic.

~blow~

And a 14 year old with normal hearing and sight, who signs and interprets for his parents and who finger spells into his brothers hand and whispers into his ear and who has had the burden of his family's dependence in this world for his entire short life.

Bloody hell.

Yeah, I'm spent before they even begin. They tore down all of the inner walls so that they can all see each other and communicate with sign language when they are in separate rooms. They have a security camera and monitor in every room so they can see where the autistic child is at all times, they have a tracking device sewn into his pajamas so that if he gets out of the house (he has down this) they will be able to find him. They have their basement turned into a sensory haven for him, he has a complete library of braille books including the Harry Potter books. They label everything in the house in braille so he can read what everything is. They rework the ducts so that when he wants to feel the A/C air or the heat blowing on his face, he doesn't have to be on the floor to do that, he can stand.

They build the mom a work room so she can do her crafts, and more importantly have a space that she can call all her own after giving everything to her children her whole life. And the dad completely breaks down like a newborn baby when they present him with his own workshop filled with every single Craftsman tool ever made (I think that's when MOTH began bawling). The bedroom that they create for the 14 year old made Finchie yell out "You GOTTA be KIDDING!" It was nicer than anything I've ever had in my life. Oh, and the parents' bedroom is equipped with a white blinking alarm light if the young boy tries to leave the house, and a red one if there is a fire, oh, and also the bed will vibrate if either alarm goes off so it will wake them up to alert them.

So, while this 14 year old has envisioned that his whole life would be focused on making sure his family was ok, this crew came in and took that job from him. Which freed up his life for the following...They present, no make that they bring in Marlee Matlin to present the 14 year old, the one who is the ears and the mouth for his parents, the keeper of his little brother, a check for his entire college tuition and all expenses.


~sob~

Oh, and instead of the neighborhood greeting the family as they returned to their renovated house with screams and cheers, out of concern for the autistic child and respect for the parents, there were thousands of people there, all waving their hands silently, the sign for applause to the deaf. Not a single freaking sound was made with all of those people there, not one lost control and called out. Just a sea of waving hands. It was the loudest silence I've ever heard.

The show closed with, instead of the theme music, just silence while the young child swung high on his newly built giant backyard swing, with the occasional sounds of his laugh and the tinkling of the wind chimes.

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GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!


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