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Tuesday, Aug. 06, 2002 - 6:07 P.M.
I've Fallen!
DAMMIT!
Up six pounds. Yes. SIX! And I wish I could blame someone (other than myself!).
Oh sure, I've been good today. It's almost 6pm and I've had 3 points. But the rehearsal dinner for my baby sister's wedding was Friday night at Buona Beef. Kinda cute how she's a long-time strict vegetarian and her new hubby is the Director of Marketing for a Beef Chain. Anyway, they had a pizza buffet. My Achilles heel is pizza, and they gave it a good hard kick. Sure, I could have just stayed with the salad. Shyeah, right.
On Saturday, I went into the wedding without eating anything. (It was beautiful, report to follow when pictures arrive). Between the wedding and the reception, we went to their house, and I shoved a few pieces of summer sausage down my gullet. Nothing else until we got to the hotel, where I foolishly thought a bag of microwave popcorn would control things. What I didn't foresee were the plates of the world's very best butter cookies, also served at my wedding reception. I didn't do too badly before dinner. But then I had a screwdriver. And dinner (stuffed chicken breast, twice baked potato, bread with BUTTER, and wedding cake with ice cream). Crap. I don't even LIKE ice cream! Then...a hurricane sounded like a good thing to drink. And then another. And several more cookies. I was so ill during the night (although I didn't puke!).
On Sunday morning, the Continental breakfast just didn't hit the spot. So, along with MOTH and my folks and my aunts and a cousin, we went to IHOP where I inhaled some Harvest Nut pancakes (with the obligatory BUTTER and syrup) and eggs and bacon. I'm not sure how, but one full platter of those bloody butter cookies found their way home with us, and I went into my "since I've blown the day, I might as well REALLY blow it), so I binged on those. What's worse is that I did it secretly. That night, I ate a Burger King Whopper, something I haven't done since I've been dieting.
Monday was blown the second I got to work and remembered that we had a farewell party for our resident clinicians. Cake. Chips. Dip. FOOD. I went to the store to buy a fruit plate (which I ALSO) ate, and then I bought about 4 bags of small chocolate bars for my office. And I ate a million of them, again behind a closed door. For dinner, I ate sweet and sour chicken (enough for the whole family) and chicken fried rice. I sucked down 1/2 dozen cookies with milk in the dark kitchen before I waddled down to bed, hating myself.
So, today I am back on the wagon, for the zillionth time. Fucked up all my headway. All I want to do is eat and sleep. Believe me, I am sleeping good at night, and also all afternoon. I need a jolt of electricity or something.
Oh, and while I was writing this, the boys went out and returned with a large Pizza Hut Pizza EACH! When I gave them "the look," they offered to share. I just want to cry.
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."
*Steven Wright*
Beginning Weight: 204.5
Goal #1: 184 (Met 5/19/02)
Goal #2: 164.5
I hope to meet my final target by May 1, 2003
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