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Friday, Jan. 03, 2003 - 9:47 P.M.

They're Baaaaack


Woo hoo. I got me some flares. No, not for the car. You know, some of them new fangled, I mean, old fashioned wide legged bell bottomed trousers! I didn't mean to. Really.

Actually, I went to the mall to get a calendar for MOTH. I had to go to several stores to find the right one, and as I walked past and looked into the display windows, I felt a funk growing. Growing large. Call it a SUPER funk. I found myself scowling at either the clothes or myself..."Just LOOK at that...I'll never be able to wear that! What the fuck!"

I heard some old phrases rattling around in that skull I carry around on my shoulders. Fat ass. Lard butt. Loser. You know, things like that.

I stopped briefly at the extra-wide shop, and then turned in. I just was tired of not having anything nice or fun to wear. I was tired of my self name calling. Tired of hating myself for sliding back into my eating disorder. So I grabbed some things.

Like a short and long denim skirt, a black Lycra skirt (you know, one of those things that no over weight woman should EVER wedge herself into), a sexy low cut square neck black sweater, and a pink paisley peasant shirt. Oh yeah, and a pair of waistless slit-up-the-back-of-the-leg-to-the-knee bell bottoms.

I got a 20% discount for applying for their credit card even though I knew I wouldn't qualify, and was asked if I wanted to try the garments on.

"Uh, no...I really don't want to deal with my body right now, I'll return them if they don't fit."

Seeing as the clerk was twice my size I probably shouldn't have said it that way, but what the fuck.

Well, the short denim skirt I think I'll be returning. Yucky. I don't like the black one either, but MOTH will. It's gotta be a motivation item, I will need about 15 pounds off before I can wear it, maybe less. The tops are good. The long denim skirt will need to be shortened by about 6 inches to come down to my ankles. No problem, I can do that.

Ok, about these pants. In MY day, like when I was wearing these things the first time around in the 60's, it was a real bitch, because they were always too long and it wasn't cool to wear them dragging on the ground. Oh sure, they made "petites" back then if you could afford them, but damn if ANY teenager had a parent who was going to buy petite clothes for them. So what we had to do was buy whatever we could, and then shrink them as best we could, and then get our moms to hem them up. The problem I had, no shit, was that by the time they had enough of a hem not to drag, the whole freaking bell was gone! I never had cool hip bell bottoms, just straight legged kinda cool bell has-beens. And once platform shoes came into fashion, I wasn't allowed to wear them because my mom was a nurse and she was sure (and probably right) that I would fall off of them and break my ankle!

Nowadays, of course, even Walmart carries petite jeans, the word got out that not ALL adults need all that leg material! SO I'm used to looking for and fitting into the petite jeans. Heck, I even began buying petites in dresses in the last year. So when I saw that this particular pair of bells came in my size-petite, I figured what the fuck.

WHAT THE FUCK!

I'll bet these things won't SHRINK much either, NOTHING shrinks much these days when you want it to! I'm going to have to bypass my mother and go get some honk-ass platform shoes! Because you can just forget the hemming. God DAMN it, by the time I shorten them there won't be any frigging BELL left! AGAIN!

What the fuck!


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