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Wednesday, Jul. 02, 2003 - 10:19 P.M.
Another Thong Rave
Ok, in my day these were called flip-flops by some people, and my friends and I always thought it was "queer" (meaning odd, not gay, and when gay meant happy). We didn't call them flip flops, we called them thongs. You all know how I feel about what we NOW call thongs. But back in MY day, we called those flip flops thongs. And I hated them then and I hate them now.
I don't like the idea of a piece of plastic or rubber or leather or string or bamboo or anything else between my toes anymore than I like the idea of a piece of material up in my ass crack. It's foreign, and it doesn't belong there. The only thing that gets between my toes, other than skin and water when I'm in the tub or swimming or sand on the beach, is toe jam. And THAT'S NASTY! Anything between the toes needs to be removed, and that includes the thong, or the flip or the flop or whatever the hell that damn thing is that goes between the toes. NASTY!
And here's the other thing! Now, I don't and never would buy these creepy things, but I know damn well that the Walgreens used to have a bajillion of them hanging there for like 99 cents each. I KNOW that for a fact. Well, no more. I mean, maybe they are still cheap at Walgreens, but someone got the dip shit idea of attaching a stupid looking dinky heel on them and they are charging EIGHTY BUCKS (yeah, $80.00) for them and the news reports that they can't keep up with the demand. ARE THESE PEOPLE CRAZY??!?!?!?? What the fuck?
So tonight, MOTH and I went shopping and I stopped in at the nearby DSW (Designer Shoe Warehouse) where I can get a pair of Nike or Sketchers for less than $30.00 and sometimes less that $20.00. I went over to check out the two full isles of thongs (ok, ok, FLIP FLOPS!), and not one of them was priced below $15.00, and most were priced between $30 and $40! This, at a DISCOUNT shoe warehouse!
Folks, these are FOAM foot-shaped planks that do nothing more than make an irritating sound while you walk (yeah, the flip-flop sound) and keep dog shit off of the bottom of your feet. These are not SHOES. These are not worth more than the 99 cents that Walgreens charges (or used to charge). They put a silly little design or in one case about 1/2 teaspoon of glitter on them and they charge about 5000% profit.
I don't know. I just don't know. I'm stunned.
I wonder if my parents feel the same way about Air Jordans selling for over $100 when Keds used to be $10.00. Maybe it's just that I'm too old to get it. Ya think?
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