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No, this ISN'T another adult content post!

The other day, MOTH And I went out for a bite to eat (surprise!) Actually, I prefer to cook, and I can honestly say that I am a pretty good cook, but it seems like with our schedules we go out more often. I really dislike fast food, and I don't particularly like restaurant food. It's pretty mundane and I find I can/could make it better at home. The exception would be Chinese food. I love a good fried rice and a good sweet/sour chicken without the sweet/sour. You know, fried chicken chunks. Anyway, I can't duplicate those things at home.

Another thing that I can't duplicate at home is a Francheesie. Oh my God, the word itself makes me drool. There aren't many places you can go for a good Francheesie either. I'm wondering if it is a regional delight. How about it, readers? I see I've been getting some international readers from Australia, Japan and Ireland. What about you guys that aren't from the Midwest? Have you ever heard of or enjoyed a Francheesie?

Ok, first, if you don't know what I'm talking about, the name says it all. "Fran" as in "Frank" or hot dog. Actually, the proper Francheesie is made with a JUMBO hot dog. "Cheesie," as in....well, CHEESIE! You slit that puppy lengthwise (not all the way through) and ram it full of cheese. Hmmmm. I guess the name doesn't quite say it all, because what makes or breaks a brilliant Francheesie is the bacon wrap. That's what holds the whole thing together, it's what makes it different from the mundane and ordinary "cheese dog." Now the bacon must be a sturdy strip, but not too thick. The bacon is wrapped (but not overlapped) to cover all but the ends of the JUMBO dog. It is then slowly grilled until it is a deep brown and crispy. If you grill to hot or too fast, the outside is crisp, but the underside of the bacon is flabby, and well, that's just not acceptable. Not that I'd return it to be fixed, I don't ever send my food back unless there is a severed limb in it. But there have been times when, with a tear of disappointment in my eye, I'd peel of the flabby pork strip and suffer with a faux cheesie. On the other hand, make the bacon TOO crispy and it breaks away on the first bite, and then the experience is ruined as well.

So. There we are, sitting in the booth, scanning the menus. Out of approximately 437 items (family-type restaurants seem to have a huge selection of which nothing is particularly good), I see nothing more interesting than the bread basket already on the table. Suddenly, I have an olfactory flashback to the Francheesie which I hadn't had since I met MOTH. The waitress approaches. I summon up all of my courage and look up at her, big sad pleading eyes. "Your cooks wouldn't happen to know how to make a Francheesie would they?"

Now MOTH is a bit take aback because 1) I don't usually rock the boat like this. I mean, asking for an item not on the menu is not something ol' Ibe has ever done. But DAMMIT I just had this hankering for a Francheesie!!! And 2) being from "Southern" Illinois ~wink-wink~ he never even HEARD of a Francheesie. But the waitress, bless her heart, looks down at me and can see that I am a serious eater with a major hankering happening. And she appreciates a customer who knows what she wants.

"Sure, honey, we can do that for you."

(Click here and then return to finish reading this, to experience a full multimedia extravaganza.)

Heavenly choirs reign down the Halleluia Chorus and I smile sheepishly my undying gratitude. I could barely contain myself. I even passed on the bread service, I mean, no way I wanted to spoil my appetite! I'm sure some mindless banter ensued, at least mindless on my part because I was thinking of nothing else but that Francheesie.

And then. Behold. The Francheesie. Grilled to perfect shade of doneness. Firm. Plump. Juicy. Oh. My. God. They even put it on a grilled bun. I'd forgotten about the grilled bun! It was perfect. Absolutely the best Francheesie I'd ever had in my life.

A Francheesie Haiku.
Grilled Jumbo Hot Dog
Stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon
You make my mouth smile.

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