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Sunday, Dec. 08, 2002 - 9:37 P.M.

Go Away, Grinches!


Everyone can just KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF!

Just what the hell IS it about Christmas that brings out the grinch in people? Me? I LOVE this holiday. I'm not keen on the lights going up the day after Halloween like they have the past few years, but it doesn't piss me off.

The family forced me into a fake tree a few years ago, but hey. I didn't mind. They made me throw out all of my lights this year and get new fresh ones in which all of the colors on every string work. Imagine that! I got 8 strings for the tree I think...just a tad too many.

The kids bugged me and bugged me to put up the tree. But they also insisted that we had to wait for eldest to come home from college, as it is a family tradition to do it all together. All of the ornaments have some special meaning, some I made, some are from specific years, some are Hallmark collections.

Before I could even bring myself to dig out all of the Christmas boxes and tubs, I had to tackle the crawl space, something I started during the room demolition which STILL ISN'T FINISHED! So I finally got all 9 boxes up and started throwing out a bunch of crap. All of the boxes made the house look even worse than usual.

Now, this past week has been really crappy, health-wise. Eldest was home last weekend and passed his horrible cold around. Beast had it over the same weekend, made her cry the sinus headache was so bad. Then MOTH got sick and had to go on steroids again because it turned into bronchitis. And then finchie stayed home sick for four days last week, puking every morning. So by Thursday, when everyone else started feeling better, it was my turn. Couldn't stay home from work because of commitments that couldn't be rescheduled. And I couldn't buy a piece of pampering to save my life.

Then eldest came home. And the grinching began.

First, I had to go and get my nails done for the company Christmas party we attended last night. It took TWO hours because I had them take off the old ones and do a new set. Good God. It took a whole hour just to pry them off. Three techs took a shot at it, and yes, I did soak. But then my regular gal came to the rescue and I left with a new set of sparkly red nails, airbrushed with a white snowflake on each nail with a green rhinestone in the center of each, which set off my emerald rings beautifully.

By the time I got home, it was beginning to look like Grinchmas. Beast gave me attitude for my nails taking so long. Then she touched Eldest who lit into her, making her go after him, and then he started dropping "F" bombs. Finchie in the mean time was trying his best to ignore them. I put on the Christmas music, and MOTH made some comments, so I changed it to some more traditional Christmas music, and he finally suggested we just turn it off. We turned on the music station on the television. Beast sat on the couch and refused to put anything on the tree until Eldest was finished, MOTH kept asking if he really had to be there after he helped with the lights (and then announced his contribution to the tree was finished).

Eldest wants nothing for Christmas. He sees it as just commercialism and feels that the entire real meaning of Christmas is gone. Despite our protests, he held firm that he would prefer that anything we would spend on him be spent on a needy person or someone who could use it more than he. And I know I should be happy about that, but shit.

And MOTH always has and likely always will hate Christmas. He grinched all the way through the mall the other night when I got some shoes. Finchie broke out into a cold sweat when I made a move toward window shopping. Dammit.

I used to love this holiday. I am still trying to. When else do we give so much to so many? When else do we draw the name of a co-worker or relative that we really don't like and buy them a thoughtful gift anyway? I bust my ass to get the perfect thing, the "just-right" gift for everyone. And I enjoy doing it. I love to surprise people with what I give. I don't even spend a lot necessarily. If I can find the perfect thing for cheap, it's a bonus. I just make sure it's the RIGHT thing.

Why do so many people have to grouse and complain and bitch and moan? The lights are pretty. The air is crisp. The music is familiar, and angelic. If you look at people in the eye and wish them a happy holiday they will smile at you. Despite the claims of the grinches of the world, most of the Christmas shoppers and not crabby and rude. That's a myth. Oh sure, they're out there, but they're out there all year long.

Look. All you grinches out there. Just please leave me alone, ok? Just let me be happy. Let me enjoy the lights and the trimmings and the cookies and the carols and the snow and the wrapping paper and the gift tags and the garlands, and the little tin hooks that fall off the tree ornaments and lie on the rug and stick into your bare foot when you stumble by in the middle of the night.

I LIKE Christmas. So DEAL WITH IT.


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