Actually, I have no choice. Mom reads my diary, she saw my angst. And she is coming to help me clean. In 100 ways I hate this, and none of them have anything to do with my mom. I am embarrassed to death over how my house is. I damn near had a full anxiety attack when the preacher suggested we meet at our house to go over the plans. Luckily, MOTH rescued me and suggested we meet at the church. I'm afraid to answer the door! I don't want another person on the earth to see how bad it really is. She knows me too well. She allowed me to wallow in it and try to hide from it for a while, but when it overcame me, she lovingly scolded me for not coming to her and asking for what I need.

So.

I haven't been completely idle, although the house would indicate otherwise. Since my stressed out post, the following things have taken place:

1. The dresses have been fitted (and rebuilt) and will be picked up on Wednesday. Beast got her shoes, and I have mine.

2. The invitations that were not sent out have been made in email. Some just were never extended, and I will just have to live with that.

3. The program has been designed and is ready for the boys to print out and fold.

4. I found a way to include all of my nieces and nephews in the wedding day, in an official capacity, and have informed them each of it. All of my family live within a fairly close proximity of each other.

5. I am lucky enough to have wonderful friends. One is helping out with the flower arrangement not just by giving it as a gift, but by picking it out and getting it done for me. I can't express how wonderful that is. Another friend is having her mother do my bouquets and boutonnieres and corsages at a substantial savings, but more importantly, she is getting it done for me. Yet another friend is doing our pictures for a gift. My God daughter's fianc� is making a tape of the ceremony for us.

6. My hairdresser is out of town. Oh well. We bought a beautiful headpiece, very small and simple, and it matches the dress and is stupidly inexpensive.

7. The caterers have been called with a "final" head count.

8. I am well below my points for 5 of the last 7 days.

9. The music has been chosen and Eldest or Beast will burn the CD for me.

10. MOTH is taking the whole next week off to get the waterfalls and yard into shape.

11. Mom and I are tackling the house today.

So there ya go. This time next week, I'll be heading to the church and getting ready for the happiest day of my last 40 years. It's flying up so fast!

TODAY'S QUOTE

"Although you find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this, some days it's even worse"

*The plaque that hung just outside of our kitchen and which I read every day of my life until I left for college*

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The Digital Bastard's Claim as of date 6/8/02:

Beginning Weight: 204.5

Goal #1: 184 (Met 5/19/02)

Goal #2: 164.5

Total lost: 24.0

Pounds to go for goal #2: 16.0

Pounds to go to my final target....55.5

I hope to meet my final target by May 1, 2003

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