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Sunday, Aug. 25, 2002 - 8:28 A.M.
Leave It To Jack-o
Ok, time to snap out of it. During one of my weekend weep-fests, I heard the news. Jacko is carrying around a 6-7 month infant and introducing him as his third child. No news on the mamma's identity.
The new child joins a sister Paris, and brother Prince Michael I. Apparently Sir Jackwipe liked the name of his first son so much that he has named his second son Prince Michael II. Honestly.
I think that there is no mother involved at all. I think he has probably found a way to pump his seed into some test tube and breed without passing germs. Hey! Maybe LIZ is the momma! (I just gagged.)
Can you imagine the freak show that is this family's dinner table?
I wanted to write something terribly witty about the whole scenario. But frankly, I can't think of a thing to add. I can't decide if the mental image of Jackwipe procreating is more comical, surreal or repulsive. It is at least tragic.
"I'm not like the other boys"
*Jackwipe*
Beginning Weight: 204.5
Goal #1: 184 (Met 5/19/02)
Goal #2: 164.5
I hope to meet my final target by May 1, 2003
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