Michael Jackson has become a freak show. I'll be honest, that's why I tuned in. God knows, I've been not shy about calling Jacko a freak. And that isn't without some doing on his part. Ok? I mean, tonight we learned:

*He identifies with Peter Pan, he doesn't want to grow up and he wants to live forever.

*The baby that was dangled off off the balcony (weird) was birthed by a surrogate (not mainstream, but not weird) and that his name is Prince Michael II (weird) but they call him BLANKET! (completely fucked up).

*After his daughter Paris was born he snatched her and went home with all the placenta and everything all over her. "I got her in a towel and ran. . . And I got her home and washed it all off." (Not only fucked up but gross!)

*He now wants to adopt two kids from each continent of the world, a boy and a girl.

*Despite being accused of child molestation in 1993, he still sleeps in the same bedroom as children who visit his Neverland ranch. (Brave? Stupid? Dangerous?)

*He claims he's only had 2 facial surgeries, both on his nose to help him breathe (riiiiiiight).

*His children wear masks or veils whenever in public (can't hardly blame him for that based on the mob scenes and photogs, but I wonder how damaged they will be from growing up this way?)

I don't know. Watching tonight I felt kind of bad. This was the first time I've seen him do more than mutter a few high pitched lines or not hide behind a mask or a glove or an umbrella or that friggin thick strand of hair I'd like to cut off. No, it was just Mike. Climbing a tree, driving a go-cart, dancing, singing, shopping (to the tune of $6 million). This was the first time we saw him as he might be on a day to day basis. He laughed, he played, he ran, he answered questions from his children ("Dad, can I run?"). I felt bad that this interviewer, a pund scum sucker to be sure, got into Michael's good graces, earned his trust over time and then knifed him. And that's just shitty.

Here's where I start to feel conflicted in my Michael bashing.

It goes back to taking a long look at Barney (yes, the Purple dinosaur who loves everybody) and the Teletubbies. These characters take a BEATING! Now, I don't happen to like any of them, but then you see, I'm not SUPPOSED to, they weren't made for me. But parents HATE with a PASSION the Teletubbies and even young children engage in songs about blowing up Barney. I wonder why, when all they do is sing and make-nice? No violence. But they provoke a lot of violence and hatred. Mr. Rogers took the same kind of beating by adults, I heard accusations (which I didn't believe) that he was gay my whole life. Again, he wasn't my cup of tea, but why all the hate and hostility???

And so, when I was listening to poor little Michael, wishing he could live forever, never wanting to grow up, I wondered why everyone hates him? Is it so bad that he made enough money to live in an amusement park? I mean, who does that hurt? And so he goes to Sotherby's and says "I want this...and this...and one of those...and 2 of those...and that too." Who does that hurt? And he likes to host disadvantaged kids. And they sometimes spend the night. In his bed, or actually he is in theirs. And there is nothing sexual, they all curl up and they have milk and cookies and they sleep.

Is it wrong?

I mean, if it goes as he says...is it wrong? The interviewer says that he needs to act his age, that at 44 it is not right to sleep with these kids. Why? I mean, again, assuming nothing sexual is happening. If my kids had a chance to actually meet Michael Jackson, and got to go to his house, which happens to be an amusement park, and they could choose between ending their time with him at 9 or 10 or if they could stretch their time with him and sleep in the same bed...what would they choose? What would you choose?

And yes, the potential for evil is there. But I listened to him saying to the interviewer that HE (the interviewer) was the sick one, for implying such horrible things. He kept saying how wonderful it is to just love one another. We need more love. And he's right.

IF, and I do mean IF, Michael Jackson lives as he says, and does as he claims...what is wrong with that?

And why do we hate him for it?

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