Today was the 5th time I've been in court to address the dead-beatedness of Ex #1. He is 18 months behind in child support and insurance payments to the tune of $26,000. I made an inquiry one day about what I could do about getting him to pay since it had been a year of him just deciding that he didn't want to do it anymore. I was told to fill out a form and they'd follow up. I expected they'd send a letter to him.

Uh-uh.

What I got was a lot of nothing for months, and then a State's Attorney with a strong dislike for deadbeat men and a thirst for their blood! Not a bad deal for me, as I didn't have to pay anything, but it made me a little nervous every time they talked about jailing him. Two reasons: 1)I get no money if he's sitting in jail, and 2)It would completely fuck my kids up to have me jail their dad. All I wanted was for someone to tell him that he has no choice, he can't make up the rules, and that he HAS to pay current and back support. This could have and should have been done with no more than 1 court appearance. I have found out that NOTHING takes one court appearance.

The first appearance was him saying that he didn't agree with the numbers they reported. We set another date.

The second appearance he showed up and reluctantly plead guilty to willful contempt of court by not paying child support. I agreed to not have him arrested as he promised to begin paying current and he agreed to a back-payment amount.

The third appearance was for him to ask for a date to request a reduction in child support. I also reported that he had as of yet not paid anything. He said that he was starting a new job and the judge yelled at him and told him that it was by my "grace" that he wasn't in jail and that come hell of high water, it was his responsibility to continue to pay the agreed upon current and back payments until it was changed.

The forth appearance he showed up with a single piece of paper in response to the state's attorney's request for years' worth of documentation. Judge was WAY not happy. He got another date.

That was today. We MAY have an end in sight. I got a judgment and the back payment MAY come soon, and he got a temporary reduction in current support. We have another date in 30 days to see if he complies with the state job finding/training program (since he has a M.S. in accounting and is currently working a $7.00/hour job doing some phone research crap). I anticipate that at that hearing, they will set a date for a final ruling. That is, unless I DON'T get the settlement and things go further south and he is held in contempt and possibly perjury.

What a fiasco. But it's not nearly as bad for me as it is for most of the people there. I have some flexibility in my job, and although I don't have unlimited time off, I can make up time taken off. I also don't have to pay the attorney (neither does he as he is representing himself...badly). But the other poor shmoes sitting there are getting raped by the system.

Case in point: the last time we were there, someone pulled the fire alarm and the ENTIRE county complex had to be emptied and searched (we were just back on high alert at the time) and then we all had to be re-searched on the way back in. Lots of lawyers were on the clock, and I'm sure their clients were billed for the time. Today, our judge was clearly not well. She couldn't concentrate, she honestly took 5-7 minutes repeating the same phrases over and over before she finally passed on the case, only to continue in the same manner for several more cases before a medic appeared and she left her bench. Rumor spread that she was severely diabetic and was going into diabetic shock. Our case was at 8:30, we never spoke to a judge (her replacement) until 10:25 and we left the building at noon. All of those clients paid the price for the judge's inability to work today.

The system is broken folks. Seriously broken. I've noticed more and more people in the domestic courts are trying to represent themselves because they just don't have this kind of money! I know when I divorced jackass (#2), my lawyer thought nothing of appearing in court monthly for "status," which meant I paid about $500 each month for her to tell the judge that no progress had been made. Lawyers think nothing of setting yet another date for "status" and the judges, the lawyers' pals, think nothing of granting it. And continuances. Over and over again. No one cares about the poor working schmuck who's stuck with a bill for nothing. You have to risk going broke to get what's coming to you, and that's just not fair!

As far as the criminal system goes, it's just as bad. The courts are so backed up because of status and continuances that people are brow beaten into plea bargaining. And they almost HAVE to do that, even if they are 100% innocent. I lived through it when demon seed stepchild pressed charges against her dad the jackass. We had to appear in court to give the plea (not guilty at that time) and then a date was set for the hearing, and then because we had a good lawyer we were going to go to trial and then he was given the bad news that IF he plead not guilty and it went to a trial and IF he lost the case, he was looking at $3,000 fines and possible jail time and a criminal record. OR...he could plead guilty and then he'd get a reduced sentence of a misdemeanor, no fine, just court costs. So let's see, do you pay $3,000 plus court and attorney fees (total of approximately $5,000) and run the risk of jail time AND a criminal record...or do you cave in and plead guilty and only pay $1500 and come out with a clean record guarantee?

Plea bargaining is a travesty that makes innocent people plead guilty or risk bankruptcy and it also allows guilty people to plea to lesser charges and thus go free. Where's the justice?

And where is the motivation to change it? Who's going to spearhead this change? Lawyers who profit from this practice? Yeah right. Judges, who used to be and probably will again be lawyers? And who has the money to pursue such a cause?

It's discouraging. Disheartening.

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