GOD I love Court T.V. I got especially hooked watching the Scott Peterson trial while I was home sick a few weeks ago. Well, I guess to be more accurate, I watched the coverage from outside the court house where the Scott Peterson trial is being held. That bastard jusge won't allow cameras in to watch and I find myself shamefully more interested as a result. It's really been quite a spectacle. CTV has not let the lack of camera access put a damper on their coverage. They've had Beth Caras running out to report every 5 minutes on the details she didn't miss while she was out updating us on the details we were missing! God, she has a really odd voice. While she was in the building getting the scoop for her next update, we got to see...repeatedly...the same loop of that little weasel Scott, and we heard the same clips of Laci's mom crying and Amber bitch-slapping Scott over his cell while he whined and wept. Anyway...

I got to come early today and flopped down on the bed in my office and absorbed every word. I can't believe my luck. On "Verdict Watch," hour 29, 40 minutes and ever ticking seconds, there came a breaking story! WOO! The news? The judge was meeting with the attorneys. Yes. Amazing, isn't it? Oh wait, there's more, the court reporter, who had been wearing a flower in her hair earlier in the day but now was without the bloom (hmmmm, perhaps that is telling us something?), had been summoned to the judge's chambers as well. ANd...are you ready...they brought in an extra chair.

So Beth is damn near quivering when she jumps on camera with the announcement that apparently this meeting was about a juror issue...wait...was it "juror" or "jury?" Moments later, during which time the on air talent speculated about the difference between the two words, Beth came back and verified that is "or. The meeting is about a juror. NOT the jury."

Finally, after weeks and weeks of coverage without a single shot of the proceedings, Court T.V. has dedicated its entire daytime programming schedule to this case. So, back to speculation. Juror misconduct? A hold-out juror? Oh the possibilities are endless because we have ABSOLUTELY NO FACTS TO REPORT! But what the hell, back to Beth Caras who damn near fell down the court stairs, clutching her mic, to report that the jurt was now eating lunch.

Well I'll tell you what, I barely had time to catch my breath when Nancy Case, the woman with the largest teeth and widest drawl, came on screaming that the in-chamber meeting appeared to be over and the attorneys now, it seemed, were also at lunch. And since it was now a "new show" they cut to Beth Caras to "set the stage of this all important day in which really important things were happening." And...she did.

"No reports of anything, no information that I can give you."

That statement sent Nancy Case, to dissect the word "issue." I guess that's why she has a show and I don't. She then speculated on every possible thing a juror could do to constitute juror misconduct which would get them dismissed from the trial. The most appealing story, as measure by the length of time discussing it with the largest number of different commentators, is that one of the jurors has done their own investigation.

I will be here, bring you the latest breaking updates as Beth brings them to us. This is correspondent IbePiglet signing off of Verdict Watch, hour 30, minute 17, 53 seconds. I'm sure there will be something very important very soon, because I have just learned that the jurors arrived this morning slightly more dressed than usual...and the HUGGED the bus driver. Does it get ANY more exciting than this?!?!

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