I think my children have a strong sense or gift of self preservation. I noticed it first when they approached the age of 5 weeks old. It's a critical time for a young mother, overwhelmed by an infant that sleeps less and is difficult to entertain. I remember a critical middle of the night feeding with each one of them, emotionally spent from not having a single REM sleep in five weeks straight, looking down into the face of the nursing child and thinking, "This can't go on, I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I want this anymore."

And then the infant looks up...and smiles. And I thought, "Ok, I guess you can stay for a little while longer." And before I knew it they were teenagers.

And when the BEAST gets in one of her confrontational or "I'm pissed at life" moods, I find myself thinking the same thing. I'm tired. I'm spent, and feeling like I don't really like my child. I'm not doing this mothering thing very well, maybe I should give up.

And then things like today happen.

When BEAST was three years old I discovered bald spots about the size of a quarter on her head. Three of these spots grew quite large and eventually I couldn't hide them with the rest of her hair. I was so afraid that she'd be teased by other girls. She was diagnosed with alopecia areata, and since then she has been very proud and protective of her hair. Once it grew back (twice as think!), she didn't like to have it cut. In fact, BEAST has been growing her hair without any more than a trim for the last 5 years. It's simply stunning. It is so thick my feeble hands cannot braid it. It's heavy. It's got natural wave, and color that people pay hundreds of dollars to unsuccessfully duplicate, rich with shades of red and copper. And every time I suggest she cut it, she recoils in horror and runs.

But last week, my God-daughter/niece told her that she wanted to donate her hair to Locks of Love and she'd made an appointment for herself AND for Beast the week after her wedding. Beast seemed excited, or at least willing.

Last night she was in a bit of a mood. Nothing horrible, but I could tell she wasn't feeling happy. I asked her about the hair cut and she said she didn't really want to do it. So I asked her why she was going through with it, and she said because it meant a lot to the god-daughter (her cousin).

I can't think of any more of a tribute to Beasts's love and loyalty to her cousin or to her spirit of generosity.

She's always been generous, I can't fault her there. Except with her own brothers, she is one of the most giving and caring and generous people I know. It began with her always giving her toys and things away to other kids. It spread to her buying things for her friends when she had money and they didn't. In grade school, she used to spend an hour or two after school by going across the street to the nursing home and visiting several of the residents that she "adopted." What a blessing she had to have been for those lucky people. For the last three years she has dedicated her Thursday nights to working at PADS, an organization that feeds and shelters the homeless. She does this on her own, not with her friends, not with a youth group. It's just something she does. During the summer and when she has vacation from school, she often helps her grandmother deliver Meals on Wheels in town. This year she wants to be a part of the school blood donation program.

And now today she gave up her hair. For victims of alopecia areata.

She sat in the salon chair and the stylist parted and measured her hair and banded it into 7 bands, weighing a total of 1/2 pound!

She was ok when the 1st ponytail was cut, but with the second one came a few silent tears, and I tried very hard to keep smiling and not let her see me tear up. She looks so cute, her hair is still about chin length!

I am so proud to have a niece and God daughter who inspires this kind of generosity in others. And I am so proud of her to include BEAST in this.

And I couldn't be prouder to have a daughter who is so kind and giving of herself. And I am proud of the close relationship she has with her cousins. But what I want her to know, in front of the world, is that I am proud of HER, and who she IS.

Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children across the U.S. under age 18 suffering from long-term medical hair loss. They meet a unique need for children throughout the United States by using donated hair to create the highest quality hair prosthetics. Most of the children helped by Locks of Love have lost their hair due to a medical condition called alopecia areata, which has no known cause or cure. The prostheses provided help to restore their self-esteem and their confidence, enabling them to face the world and their peers.

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