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Sunday, Aug. 03, 2003 - 7:25 P.M.

Me So Hungry!


Oh God, how am I ever going to get to that magical weight where my legs and feet and back no longer ache with every movement when I am such a weak pussy ass wimp!

I was pretty well behaved Friday night at my baby sister's house. She had a Pampered Chef party and I went into it having consumed 9.5 points. I passed on the pizza the lady made, and ate 1 cookie which I calculated to be 2 points. I mostly ate carrots and cucumber slices. I finally succumbed and had 1 grilled polish sausage on a bun. SO if I count that as 12 points, which I think is too high, I stayed within my limit. Probably banked a few points, but I didn't want to count on that. Actually, I'm not sure how many points I can even have right now, so I am assuming 23.

Saturday was real rough. I managed to make it through to dinner by snacking on 2 point 1/2 sandwiches with diet bread and thin sliced chicken until dinner when I had fat free turkey chili on plain rice. I ended up 1/2 point in the bank.

On Sundays, we usually go out to breakfast with my parents, but today we took out Eldest. He only has a few more weeks before he goes back to school, so it's too hard to say no. I figured that breakfast was too big of a risk to order, lots of butter and hidden fats, so I played safe and ordered the turkey dinner. As much as I wanted the cream of chicken and rice soup, I opted for the salad with dressing on the side and used no more than 1/2 Tablespoon of that. I ignored the bread basket, a MAJOR feat for me. I thought I had it made...and then my meal arrived...smothered in gravy. I am talking SMOTHERED. Plate rim to plate rim. Shit. I ate my baked potato which was on the side, and tried to eat the turkey and avoid the dressing. I passed on the "free" dessert that came with the meal. So that was probably a whole day's worth of points plus any banked points right there, and it really wasn't all that good. Which also means I've had to spend the rest of the day not eating. I HATE this.

I want meat, a steak, and I want onion rings and I want a banana shake and I want potato chips and a big bowl of cereal with 2% milk. And I want a plate full of cookies, I don't even care what kind they are and I want a big glass of dipping milk. And I want a Snicker's bar. OOH! And a grilled cheese sandwich.

But I will settle for a fat free hot dog (1 point) rolled in a slice of my diet bread (.5 points). And diet Kool Aid. But I am not happy about it.


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