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Sunday, Sept. 08, 2002 - 7:32 P.M.

I Think I'll Call It
Mini Me!


The 70's were an ugly...VERY ugly time, my friends. As evidence, I need present nothing more than the little fam-photo above. I don't know where my older sister is, perhaps she is shooting the pic, or perhaps, being college savvy, she distanced herself from us.

Lately, my brother has taken to bringing over a pack of photos every time we all get together. I love this, and I am the supreme master at knowing everyone in every picture, and I also have a tendency of focusing on things other than the primary photographic subject. This photo is rich.

Based on the age of my baby sister there (4?), I'm guessing that this was taken around 1973. First, take a look at what little decor is showing. The lamp on the left is a classic 60's faux gold-leaf piece. What you can't see clearly is the narrow scratchy bright green polyester couch behind us. I don't know what my mom was thinking (we honestly had green shag carpet, a decision she regretted as the installers were leaving).

My dad always has been a regular guy. I'm sure his socks don't match (he's color blind) but you wouldn't know this from the picture. Almost 30 years later and he barely looks any different. Not more than 10 gray hairs, if that, and maybe 10 hairs fewer...if that. He's amazing. He's changed in many other ways, but not in appearance.

Mom. She's got to be about ready to kick my ass for the pictures I tend to post of her. But check out this dress! I mean, when else but the 70's would you wear an ORANGE CHECK dress?!?! And frankly, I remember her wearing this and I thought it was cool that she was so hip!

And lil bro. Could the bow tie be ANY bigger? What is it, like an adam's apple camouflage thing? It looks like a freaking butterfly! And BLUE! Guys always wore BLUE when dressing up in the 70's. Actually, I am again guilty in thinking that this was a pretty hip get-up for him. And the giant glasses which changed to sunglasses were WAY cool. The bigger the better, the more clear viewing you had.

Baby Jen. Holding her big sister's hand. Lookit those cheeks! What a cutie. In any era. One of these days I'll get over my jealousy of her beauty and post her wedding picture. But right now I'm feeling sorry for myself and petty.

Of course I saved the freakiest for last. Yeah, I am guilty of being in the center of this one. You can tell it's me cuz I have no breasts. I am also wearing my trademark scowl of disgust so often seen in my pictures, especially in my late teens. Now, when brother brought this picture over, he was focused on his bow tie. But my first reaction to this picture (aside from gloating over having larger glasses than him) was, "WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING????"

I remember that dress. Kinda. I do NOT remember wearing anything that short. I remember my mom yelling at me about dresses showing off my ass. And I disputed her claim. But hey. Proof is in the picture, isn't it? I mean, that's upper thigh showing. How the hell did I walk (or breathe?) without a complete flash-show? And the sadder thing is that I KNOW this was not my shortest dress!

What's even sadder...is that I hated myself at that time...for being so fat. I should be so fat now, I would thank God.


TODAY'S QUOTE

"There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid!"

*Dennis Leary*


The Digital Bastard's Claim as of 9/7/02:

Beginning Weight: 204.5

Goal #1: 184 (Met 5/19/02)

Goal #2: 164.5

I hope to meet my final target by May 1, 2003


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