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Friday, Feb. 09, 2007 - 11:25 P.M.

What Happened To Anna Nicole



None of the excessiveness (click photo above for enlarged view) was Anna's fault. She didn't know what inner forces drove her. I believe that at about 9 years of age, her body was possessed with the spirit of Elvis. That would explain the weight fluctuation. The slurred speech. The public's freak-show fascination with someone whose talent had long ago run out. The drugs. The stable of Yes-men and hangers-on constantly at hand. The inexplicable act of marrying someone nowhere near their own age. The side show death. The conspiracy theories.... Need more? I offer you this: .

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I think I made my point.

I also have a theory, or more precisely a NON-theory. I no longer believe Howard K. Stern was in any way a contributory factor in her death. I offer as evidence the fact that Jerry Rivers, oops, I mean Geraldo Rivera believes he DID have a role in her death. And, I think we have all learned by now that if he thinks one way, the safe money (AND the facts) are the other. No sir, I think my Elvis theory holds up better than Geraldo's mustache.


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