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Tuesday, Apr. 09, 2002 - 6:40 P.M.

86 The Patch!


Patches? PATCHES??? I don't need no stinking patches! Well, yeah actually, I do. But at what cost? See, if I continue to wear the patch, I will eventually loose a hip. One layer of skin at a time. Might be one way to lose some weight, but then I'd be lopsided. Who needs that? It's a bummer really. I've been sweat free for the last few days, and I can't remember the last time I wasn't suffering from hot flashes. Dammit.

So I went to the Dr. today. He always seems to happy to see me, but I bet down deep he dreads it. I never come in with just one complaint, and it's rarely something simple like a cold. Nah. Since there were several issues going on, I present them all. Here, in no particular order, are the results.

1. Weight. Fuck. According to his scale, I am 1 only pound less than I was a few weeks ago when I took my blood tests. Oh, he tried to make me feel not so bad, explaining how weighing yourself later in the day (it was 3pm) can make a difference. Yeah right. It still bummed me out to see that I am still officially over 200 pounds. Fandamtastic. He was very happy about my Weight Watcher thing. He told me not to be discouraged. I am anyway.

2. Blood pressure. With my disappointment over my weight, I was hanging on to the hope that at least I might see an improvement in my blood pressure. 130/94. No freaking way. DOUBLE damn. I felt the urge to binge.

3. Numb hands and fingers. He looked at my hands which were their usual puffy and red selves. I told him how my finger tips frequently get numb and how the numbness has at time gone up my hand. He didn't seemed terribly surprised, but then he keeps his demeanor very even with me. He knows me very well. He prescribed a mild water pill for me. I'm going to take it for a month, and then we'll see what my potassium levels are and so forth. He thinks that it will help my hands AND my blood pressure. He also thinks that after a month, I may very well be able to cut down and take it only when I feel that I am retaining water instead of all the time. When I join the health club, I'll be able to keep track of my blood pressure all the time. He seemed to really think that this pill (spironolactone) will help.

4. The Rash. Oh yeah. Nothing like having this nice looking man examining my belly and legs and butt. Good times, really. Self esteem at an all time low. Even my ass was blushing, I'm sure. Apparently I have 3 things going on. Not two. Three. My tummy is having an allergic reaction to soap or detergent or whatever. He didn't seem to think that the stretch mark connection was particularly significant as much as coincidental. For this I now have some cream. On my legs, I have "folliculitis." This is caused by an infected hair follicle which can start with an irritation from rubbing clothes or something like that. The infection spreads. For this, I have an oral antibiotic. The last was the allergic reaction on my ass, in the shape of my patch, which is an allergic reaction to the adhesive on the patch. (see item #6). This will go away, an over the counter itch cream will help.

5. Zoloft. Now see I thought I was doing well in this area. But I had just gone over my bevy of symptoms with him and the possible diagnoses, and when I mentioned that I had diagnosed the stretch mark rash as PUPPP until I realized that the last "P" was for pregnancy, he brought up the idea of increasing the Z. Huh. Seems that he's like to me me go up to 100 mg and perhaps even 150. I'm to up it until I don't notice any improvement, then decrease it to the level where there WAS improvement. But hells bells, I thought I was doing good, so I'm not sure what to look for. Perhaps he means when I stop searching the archives to diagnose myself, ya think?

6. The Patch. Patch smatch. I'm going on the DOT! It's similar to the patch I'm wearing, but it is real small, and I can change it (and the area it's on) every 3 days. If it does make me itch, I can use the cream to make it better. It's called "Vivelle-dot."

VIVA LE DOT!


TODAY'S QUOTE

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

*Gilda Radner*


The Digital Bastard's Claim as of 4/6/02:

Beginning Weight: 204.5

Goal #1: 184

Total lost: 10

Pounds to go: 10.5


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