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Wednesday, Nov. 14, 2001 - 6:42 A.M.
Personals
People meet in the darndest ways.
That particular chat room had a cast of regulars, but had its share of "trolls," people who would pop in to see if anyone was interested in a "cyber-quickie." I try to be sensitive to the quirks and fetishes of folks, but sometimes...they just elude me or make me laugh (like when I went to the porn shop. I thought I'd seen the oddest troll when someone posted a quick personal ad: Wanted: One male midget willing to dress like Elvis and do Wayne Newton imitation. I. Swear. To. God. Seemed a tad specific for a fetish.
My friend MKM is contemplating answering a personal ad, and I say GO for it, mkm! Do it safely, you know meet in public and all of that, let people know where you are going and when, let someone know who the guy is in case he decides to chop you up into tiny bits. ~giggle~ But do it, and have a good time, his ad sounded like a sane guy looking for a nice time/relationship.
Like I said above, I THOUGHT I'd seen the wackiest personal ever. But damned if my good pal JES didn't top it! It was posted on the net, and I am clipping a few lines, but here it is, fairly intact:
Special Man Seeks Woman for Very Special Activity...
I am looking for a woman, I am not too picky but with certain thing you have to draw the line somewhere so you must be 18 - 45 years old, you must be at least thin enough to fit into a suburban, but preferably weigh more than 92lbs. I am not looking for sex at all, I am not looking for any kind of relationship beyond possibly friends. I am just looking for a nice woman who will come to my house, undress for me, wear roller skates and let me through raw bacon at her ass. No strings attached, there is no catch...I am serious, this is a fantasy of mine and I want to find the woman that will help me make it come true. I am dead serious about this. I am a very attractive 26 year old male, I have pictures I can send, I am a real person, just like everyone else, I work, I have a family and friends, not a serial killer just want to live out this fantasy and if I could find a woman who could bend down and grab her ankles while on roller skates that would turn me on even more when I throw or toss the bacon. At any rate, please respond.
Now the questions JES and I have are things like, why doesn't he throw the bacon at his WIFE (yup, bacon man is married) and more importantly, WHAT IN THE WORLD is at the root of THIS fetish? JES speculates that perhaps he got his first boner while roller skating and eating bacon. Maybe he was roller-skating on a Sunday morning, and the smell of country bacon was in the air...as he wheeled past a window in which a naked woman was bending over???? I'd like to know what happens, if he ever gets his dream date.
Where was this guy when I was single?!?!?!
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