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2001-08-22 - 6:04 p.m.

The REAL Day Two Update!

More of Day 2....

Ok, I really sucked big weenie on the last post, cuz a lot has been going on, so I will update all of those critical areas that I know are on your sick and twisted little minds:

The Fungus Ok. I got a suggestion from JES that I should actually APPLY the yogurt to a pad and slosh around in it all day. Me thinks not. It's a warm humid day, and my crotch is funky already. All I need right now for my ego is to pass by someone sniffing in the air "What is that? Fresh bread AND warm milk?" No thanks. My mom, who is a nurse, is making me think it might be something else. I don't even want to say it out loud (Finchie and Beast have discovered the diary so I have to be discreet) .

HEY YOU GODDAMN KIDS GET THE HELL OFF LINE, CAN'T YOU HEAR THE THUNDER???????

The "X" Good Lord does "X" make you dream. Wild vibrant dreams, the kind that wake you up several times during the night. The kind that gives you mornings that feel like you need a good night's sleep! I don't recall what they were, but good LORD I was active. Maybe the digital bastard is right, maybe I DID lose 2 pounds. If I did, it was all during my sleep. But my money is on me being up by 3 tomorrow. I almost got up at 2:47am to make a post to prove that I was awake, but I decided that if I gave myself 2 more minutes I might get back to sleep. That was my last recollection of consciousness.

Took the "X" again today. Had a blast of energy that manifested itself in a purple head.

Someone told me that I could lose weight if I just ate like a bird. My finches shit in their food. I'd rather stay fat.

Self Esteem Let's see. The kids went back to school today, and the twins (Beast and Finchie) are now officially freshmen. Apparently they are had trouble getting to sleep last night. When I got up this morning and got a glimmer of hope from the digibast, it was immediately dashed by the note my daughter left for me on the kitchen table:

Dear Mom. Well, It's 10:45 and I can't sleep. I came down to talk to you, but you were topless (ewwwwwwww)....

Ewwwwwwww????? LISTEN MISSY! You used to EAT off of this flabby things, so don't you "Ewww" me! I mean really, was the "ewwwwww" really necessary????

Malling I don't go back to school until tomorrow, so my mom and I decided to go to another Mall. Yeah, I just can't seem to stay out of em these days!

My feet were killing me so we went to get some really expensive shoes, the kind that hold up to the beating mine take. While we were there we saw a guy with a sweep-hairdo that even beats Donald Trump's! Honest to God, I am not exaggerating, but he combed it from the base of his neck up over the top of his head! Bad enough, I'd say, but the rain and wind had gotten ahold of it and it kind of stuck way up on one side, showing off all the baldness he was trying to hide. Does he really think that looks better than a bald head? And mom was just horrible. She's as short as I am, and this guy was tall and she kept looking waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy up at it. Jeese mom! ~chortle.~

After that I commented that all three yards of material that make up my panties were in my ass crack. Maybe I should just get a thong, because it all winds up in there anyway, and lemme tell ya, it's mighty uncomfortable. So mom made me go get some panties at J.C.Penny. She said that Jockey Brand would stay put. We'll see. I bought 9 JUMBO pair.

So with my feet and my ass taken care of and my funky crotch making my life miserable, we waddled over to a Stir fry place for some lunch. OH! On the way there, we passed a place that sells all of the "As Seen on T.V." crap. Seriously, they have something I hadn't seen (I thought I knew every TV gadget out there). You know the "Ab-roller?" Get ready, cuz now for us fat asses, they have the "Ab-dolly." Swear to God. I'm waiting for the Ab-Forklift.

My head MMMmmmmmmm...purpley. Click here for before and after pictures. I am betting that tomorrow when I go to work, most everyone will pretend that there is nothing different about my head. Now when they last saw me, 3 months ago, I was a bright brassy and sassy blond! When I did this at the beginning of the summer, only one person in our church was honest with her reactions ("WOW! HOLY COW that's bright!!!). Everyone else just pretended that nothing was new. HUMPH!

Hey guys and gals, it's storming again, and before I blow out the pc, I better shut down. I took my "X" late today, so I may have a rough night. If I do and it's calm out, I'll say "hey."

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