Subluxation Degeneration. Phase 2. That's what I've got.

Well, no WONDER I've been so damn cranky and out of sorts. Last week it nearly seized up on me, and not wanting to go out of work via ambulance, again, I thought I'd better get myself to see someone. The Orthopedic Dr. I saw about 18 months ago did no good, so I went with a chiropractor.

One of the girl's I work with is married to a brand spanking new back-man, or at least his private practice is brand spanking new. And he looks like he's all of 17 years old, so I'm going with him being a fairy recent graduate. Did I mention that he's nice? Oh yeah, and VERY easy on the eyes. I may be in pain, but I am NOT stupid or blind.

I went to a chiropractor about 16 years ago following a car accident, and the experience left me not wanting to ever go back. It was a really weird scenario I found myself in.... The Dr. was really rough and he was rude. I was pretty much ready to quit treatment because after going for about 6 or 8 weeks, I suddenly began to feel much worse after my visits. Then one day, he had to go out of town unexpectedly, and his partner was taking his appointments. Oh my GOD. This guy was GREAT! No jerking or twisting hard, no loud ripping and popping sounds. Everything just kind of slid into place almost effortlessly with a minimum of manipulation on his part. I wanted to go to him, not the other guy. But I was afraid it would be rude or awkward...and so I did what any sane person would do. I made that my last visit. That IS what a sane person would do isn't it? Well, anyway, now I see "Carlo." And he's very gentle and very careful and tells me everything he's going to do, and explains every procedure, even the Xray.

But, now I have a new problem. The first time I saw Carlo, I was in excruciating pain. I was nervous about going to anyone I knew, or to anyone who knew someone I knew because, well, I am so damn fat and I was embarrassed at the thought of a co-worker's husband manipulating my fatness. But eventually I was in so much pain it didn't matter who the hell I saw, as long as I realized some relief. He didn't want to do any adjustments until he'd developed and read the xrays, so he did some electrode thing on my back and neck, and some moist heat packs. He talked to me in feeling very trusting about putting my neck and spine in his hands.

So, the next time I went to see Carlo, it was adjustment time. I was comfortable with him.

Problem. Big problem.

Ok, we all know that I am fat, I need not reiterate it, that's not the whole problem here, but a contributing factor. See, I know how people, especially thin and fit people think about fat people. Perhaps "judgmental" is far too strong a word. But, for instance, if you were to see a thin, fit person eating an ice cream cone, and the cone was dripping all over and the thin person was lapping at all the sides, trying to keep up with the melting, you'd probably do little more than notice. Change that to a fat person, and words like "pig," or "slob" or worse crop up. I'm always very conscious that a bad haircut, poorly fitting clothes, etc, are judged more harshly towards a person of girth. I cringe when I see fat people engaging in behavior that adds to the "fat is bad" mentality. I needed to say that, because now we get back to the spinal adjustment.

I'm lying on the adjustment table, having been relaxed by the electrodes and heat packs. He begins telling me about my adjustment, and he firmly, but not painfully, strokes the muscles on either side of my spine in the mid-back. And as he is telling me to relax....

I feel a bubble forming. Down....there. Not a small one. And not one that was likely going to go away quietly.

Relax. Yeah. May I remind you that I have a major issue with the expulsion of gas when I am not alone? Those references would be HERE, and HERE. I STILL, after 7 years, have never farted in front of MOTH without wanting to crawl into a hole and die. So now here I am, lying on a table ass up, this great looking young muscular man on top of me, telling me to relax while getting ready to manipulate my hips and lower back....RIGHT IN THE LINE OF FIRE!

He could tell I tensed up, he kept asking me if anything was wrong, and I tried to laugh it off and eventually he was able to do what he needed to do without hurting me AND without asphyxiating over my ass.

Relax....yeah

---

Won't you PLEASE leave your feedback here?
1 readers left their mark on this one!

TagBoard

Name URL or Email Messages(smilies) Read the previous entry - Read the next entry Who's Who in Ibe's Diary (last UPDATED September 21, 2008) If you would like to be notifed each time this page is updated, stick your email addy in the form and click on "join." Your email address: