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Today at our conference, we were treated to an hour long panel discussion with 3 autistic adult men. They are not famous, but I think they should be. They sat in front of a room full of "professionals," teachers, speech pathologists, occupational therapists, researchers, school administrators, behavior specialists and psychologists, and dared to tell them, us, me, what autism is REALLY like.

The youngest of the three, a young adult man, summed it up as "It's just a way of life, it is what it is!" And he smiled his strong genuine smile that one wouldn't quickly associate with autism. He talked about his life, his job, his hobbies. He offered advice to one of the other men about finding a woman..."You need to find a good Chrisitian woman who will care for you."

These guys showed us humor, and caring, empathy for each other. They patted each other on the back, told jokes, expressed interest in the world around them. They talked about their girlfriends, heart aches, losses, and joys. I never heard a word about them depending on the welfare system, in fact all are employed. They travel, go to concerts, and one may even write a book about his experiences.

The oldest of the 3 holds Master's Degrees in Biology and Physics. He had hoped to teach, but was told that people didn't like his style of teaching. He expressed sadness over never having the chance to teach students interested in what he might have to offer, since he'd only been given freshmen taking basic required classes and he had little to offer those not interrested in what he found so interesting. He is a member of Mensa, enjoys kareoke, and hosts movie nights at his home. He shared with us how in high school he worked up the courage to finally speak with a girl he liked, only to be given a "dirty look" which she continued to give him for the rest of his years in school. In fact, he said that he could see her dirty look coming before he saw her face.

He related an incident from Kindergarten about a teacher who had asked him to complete a task that didn't make sense to him, but he knew that the teacher felt that way and so didn't ask for clarity but just assumed she would ask him to do something that didn't make sense out of a lack of respect for him. His telling of the details, the height of the windows in that classroom of unacceptance, the color of the drapes, the lighting...it brought tears to my eyes. The clarity of that hurtful event, after 50 years, had not dulled.

He also told us of a wonderful teacher he had in High school, an English teacher who showed him the same respect she showed the others, and how it made a class that he didn't care for more bearable. He gave us advice on how to treat any student we have in our care, with dignity and patience and I was weeping like an idiot.

These three men who braved their challenges to try and make us better teachers, showed me a side of autism that I'd never seen or even imagined in all my 25 years in the field. These men dare to think and feel and emote against all contradictory research. These men never once said a single self-pitying word. They never once railed against the injustices they must have and continue to suffer. None of them complained about what they don't have.

I traveled over 800 miles and paid around $2,000 to learn how to more effectively teach autistic individuals. And today I learned more from them than I can ever hope to teach.

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