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Wednesday, Jul. 24, 2002 - 10:22 P.M.
It's SAP!
Last night MOTH and I went out to join the people above, the people who are staring upwards. Yes, we went to SAP FEST. Have you been yet? Surely you've heard of it, no? Isn't SAP FEST the reason the Pope has been dragged over to North America? I'm sure he plans on attending.
Well, for those of you who are less informed, SAP FEST has sprung up here in my little hometown, because someone saw the Virgin Mary in a knot in a tree covered with sap. Yeah. An apparition, right here in IbeTown. I stayed away as long as I could, even during the media frenzy. But it finally got the best of me, and I begged MOTH to take me up there so I could see one o' them apparitions for myself.
Based on our visit, I have composed my own definition of the word "apparition." It means looking at something and making it be whatever the hell you want it to be. Kind of like a real world Rorschach test. Remember when, as a kid, you laid down on your back outside and stared at the clouds until they seemed to form something? Frankly, I totally sucked at that. 9 times out of 10, when someone tried to get me to see what they saw, all I saw was cloud.
Now, I'm no expert when it comes to this "Vision" thing, but correct me if I'm wrong. Seems to me that when the Virgin Mary makes an appearance, it is THE Virgin Mary. THE. THE! As in one. Not here at SAP FEST. Nope. If there was one shrine there were 30. Almost every tree in this vacant lot had some kind of notch and sap combo with a holy card pinned by it. I mean, how many time would she appear, I mean, if it really were she?
Well, far be it from me to be a doubter. So I looked up. I followed the points and the stares. I squinted. I tried real hard to see what the weeping believers saw. A few times, I could make myself do it, I could see where one might think the notch in the tree looked like a Virgin Mary...
One couldn't hardly escape the fact that the crowd consisted of about 95% Hispanics, and that the other 5%, of which I was a member, all had disbelief and/or amusement (or bemusement) on their (our) faces. It didn't help me keep a straight face when faced with things like this:
I guess the entire experience was summed up by this final scene. A mother looks at a notch and exclaims that she can see "it." It's so clear! Right here! See it? The kids says, "Um, no." She continues, "Sure! Right here, see this part is the baby Jesus." He gets up close and squints, then backs up and squints, looks at his mom and honestly states, "Nope. I just don't see anything."
Kind of like the Emperor's New Clothes, huh?
"It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui."
*Helen Keller*
Beginning Weight: 204.5
Goal #1: 184 (Met 5/19/02)
Goal #2: 164.5
I hope to meet my final target by May 1, 2003
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