Recent events brought to mind one of the first encounters I had with MOTH'S sister Fannie. I was out near O'Hare Airport, I can't remember why. It was a pretty warm day. I had just gotten out of my car to go into a restaurant, and a very large frantic African American woman charged at me all aflutter. She blubbered about her car breaking down on the expressway and she had to leave her children there with her sister and they were all terrified and the cops had come by and told her that they were going to issue her a ticket if she didn't move the car immediately and she called a tow truck but they needed cash to tow her car and she didn't have any cash with her, and she just didn't know what to do...

She kind of freaked me out, and then a man walked by and asked me if she had asked for money, which she hadn't (yet) done. He told me NOT to give her any money. He moved on and she got all hysterical and continued about her children. Now this was about 5 years ago, and not everyone had cell phones. I certainly didn't. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to believe her.

Then she began begging and then...she pulled the race card. She said that she understood why I would doubt her, that I probably thought she was some kind of low life black liar, and she knew that the white people were afraid to trust the black people and she just didn't know what she could do to get me to trust her, but she had to have $50 to get her car towed or she would be in such terrible trouble, and if I had a cash card I could just go over to the ATM and help...

I know I know. I am a stupid person. And had it not been for the man who circled back to confront her, I might possible have lost $50 that day. I stood there stunned speechless as a car raced up and she jumped in and it sped off. I had just barely missed being scammed.

As I relayed this story to Fannie, she was positively stunned that I would be so gullible. She wasn't being mean, but she really was surprised that I hadn't seen this age-old scam a mile away. But I didn't. And all I could think of was that I would feel so horrible if it turned out to be a true story. I felt so freaking betrayed when I saw her run for and dive into her getaway car. DAMN!

So. I bet you're wondering about the recent event.

Well, I got the child support settlement finally. 14 months in the waiting and many many court appearances brought me a sizable chunk of change with which I wish I could do something great like buy a new car, but alas, I have some loans to pay off and a college tuition for eldest. That pretty much takes care of it.

The reason I got the big money is because Ex1lost his house because of taxes and when the county sold it at auction there was $33,000 in excess and it was being held in the county clerk's office because he is too freaking stupid, helpless and lazy to try and get it on his own. So, while he is standing in front of the judge, shamelessly admitting that he didn't pay any support for over a year because he decided to live off of all of his savings until they were completely depleted, he let slip the details of this sale, and the judge found out about this surplus. He immediately slapped a lien on it and said I had dibs. And on top of his arrears, he also gave me 5 months worth of insurance payments because it looked like the loser wasn't going to make enough money to pay me for that either. So I wound up with about 80% of his "nest egg."

So rather than hound the courts for the rest of his money, he starts bitching to me about how the State's Attorney hates him and how she fouled up the orders and they took too much money from his checks and now he wouldn't be able to make his rent.

Boo-hoo.

And then he asked if I would reimburse him the $900 overage that the State took from his checks.

Uh.....no. Because if the state made a mistake, he needs to take it up with the state. And besides, any money I give him, I will never see again. Eventually, the court will make it right with him, and my repayment will be additional funds for him that my kids nor I will ever see. He needs to go and fill out forms and figure his own way through the world, just like I did. And if he got off his dead large puffy ass and get the remainder of the money the court still holds, he wouldn't have to worry.

No, it's easier to be flatulently pitiful.

He called me again yesterday, asking me if I could help him. Because they took out too much from his checks, and because they are issuing him a "credit" instead of a refund on the $900 overage, he is $100 short on his rent and he is afraid he will be tossed out.

I told him that I didn't have access to the money yet, that the bank is holding it for clearance (truth). Then he said that he didn't even have any money for gas, that he had actually gone and tried to donate blood for cash but they weren't doing it that day.

Shit.

So, I told him that I could come up with $200 to tide him over. He sounded like he was going to cry and thanked me a million times and said that when we go to court next, he's going to tell them to just wipe out his "overage," and he'll just start fresh.

Yeah right. I won't see that happen. And I know I'll take flack from a lot of people for buying into his pity party and I know that he is responsible for his own misery. But damn, he is my kids' dad. And if I didn't have any money right now, it wouldn't bother me. But I can't sit on this and tell him to go and sell his blood on the street.

I am so thankful that MOTH understands and supports me on this.

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