How did 16 years go by since that day I was so scared? I can't be that 16 years have passed since they slid that electrode in me to "see which twin has the Toni;" since I said a prayer to God above to not let me die, and a second quieter prayer that I not have 2 girls. That one was selfish. Could 16 years really have passed since I held my mom's hand and squeezed it, and she pointed to the window...inside the sterile high risk delivery room, right there looking over me, was a ladybug. And we both knew that Grandma was there, she sent her sign that it would all work out fine.

And it did, though not easily.

16 years ago the BEAST flew out, 3 weeks early and 5 pound, nine ounces of shrieking female. She came out in 1 push, no stopping for the shoulders so she did a real number on me down there. I didn't care. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She looked just like Eldest had, and I said out loud, "She will be my greatest joy and my biggest heartache."

Boy Howdy.

She exhausted me, and I was unable to bring my finchie into the world as easily, so after 2 more hours of trying, they put me to sleep and took him out manually. When I woke, deep in my morphine fog, I peeled my eyes open to see him. And I cried because I couldn't take him out of the incubator because he was on respiration and I was deep in a near coma.

How could 16 years have gone by since that day?

I'm stunned that I once held them both at the same time, nursed them both at the same time, grinned through clenched teeth every time someone gooed over them and said "Oh, I always wanted twins!"

Did they also always want twin DPT shots and twin reactions to those shots? Twin flu and twin ear infections? Twin teething? Twin terrible two's? "NO!" in stereo? Twin ego phases? Twin crawling, toddling, running in different directions? Twin toilet training?

Then again, I got twin hugs and kisses, twin mother's day Christmas and birthday gifts, twin tears and twin giggles and twin love. Twin kindergarten and twin graduations.

Now I have to face twin driver's licenses. Which means twin insurance payments. I don't know how I going to do it. But then again, I didn't know how I was going to "do it" 16 years ago.

People were always asking me, "How do you DO it?!?!"

I always replied back, "I didn't think there was an option, they sure as hell aren't going back where they came from!"

I still bristle when people tell me that they want twins. No one should want twins. You never can give them as much of anything as you can one child. But the again, they don't know the difference. And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change it.

Except for the passing of time. I'd make it go slower and relish each day more than I did.

---

Won't you PLEASE leave your feedback here?
0 readers left their mark on this one!

TagBoard

Name URL or Email Messages(smilies) Read the previous entry - Read the next entry Who's Who in Ibe's Diary (last UPDATED September 21, 2008) If you would like to be notifed each time this page is updated, stick your email addy in the form and click on "join." Your email address: