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Tuesday, Apr. 23, 2002 - 9:59 P.M.
Changing Teams?
When I was splitting up with the jackass, my therapist (YES, I had a therapist and I drove her mad, I think) asked me if I ever considered having a woman as a sexual partner. I told her that I had indeed thought about it. Doesn't everyone at least THINK about it? maybe not.
I actually did act on it once. Kinda. Sorta. I was using a chat program back in the old days of the internet, before java programs were used. It was a stand alone dial up program called Powwow, kinda sorta like ICQ, but much neater. Unfortunately, it bit the dust. But we had a community of regular chatters there, and that's where I met MOTH by the way. Now, this "community" wasn't exactly a community of quilters. Let's just say it was an "over 21" room.
Anyway, before I met MOTH there was a girl there that I chatted with and I we discovered that we lived near each other. Well, she wanted to meet. So, we made an arrangement to meet at a Book Store for coffee. We hadn't exchanged pictures, but I knew her as soon as I saw her. She was on the large side. Not particularly attractive, actually, kinda strange looking is the only way I can put it. At the time, I was a little bit lighter than I was in the picture I posted the other day. I had on some cute little outfit, actually it was just a shirt and tights. I'm such a tease. To make a long uncomfortable story short, I was trying to leave as soon as I hot there. She finally walked me to my car, and I knew it was coming. I was a little nervous and I was going to run away, but when I saw her start to move in for the kiss, I thought to myself, "What the hell!" I decided that I'd go for it. She was glad I did. It was probably one of the longest kisses I've ever had in my life. Either that, or time just stopped while I tried to analyze what the hell I was doing. She moaned and grabbed my hair and was quite obviously enjoying herself. Meanwhile, I was trying to conjure up the image of a woman, ANY woman, who would possibly get me aroused. I tried my level best to get into the mood she was in. But alas, all I could do was try not to laugh and hope it would end soon. She was all breathless and wanted me to back to her apartment, but I reminded her that this was a "safe" meeting and that by going to a private place, it would no longer be. So we parted ways, me knowing that I'd never ever meet her again. I think I laughed all the way home, it was so damned surreal.
When I told people about it, they had 2 reactions. First, they were stunned. And then they asked, "Did you like it?"
Nah. I felt then and there that I had the validation that I was as hetero as they come. The punchline to the story is that about six months later, after she had moved out of state, we were chatting online and she finally admitted to me that she once upon a time had been a HE! I felt so gypped! My first and only lesbian kiss had been stolen from me!
I like men, that's all there is to it. However, if anyone were able able to convince me to switch teams, it would have to be my girl Cheri O'teri. She is about as perfect as they get for me. More cute than pretty. Green eyes like mine. A sense of humor that kills. I get a chance to see her action this Friday night on a new program. If you have the IFC (Independent Film Channel) channel (digital broadband here), they have a program called Dinner For Five, and it's like a dinner where they just sit around and discuss shit, and CHERI IS GOING TO BE ON IT THIS FRIDAY NIGHT! Actually, it's a repeat. IFC shows it on Mondays and Bravo replays it on Fridays, but I missed it Monday night. I am so psyched.
I'm telling you, I'm beginning to question my team loyalty because of how much I like her, it's spooky. The only other time I remember considering the switch was when I saw the music video k.d.lang made of Crying with Roy Orbison. She was attractive and strong and I still lose my breath when I see the video. The problem is that I've seen outside of that particular video and she looks like she needs a shower and a hair wash. The girl looks stinky!
Lest you fret over this fascination I have with Cheri with just 7 1/2 weeks left to the wedding, have no fear. MOTH and I have had a long talk about it, and we both agreed to leave the poor girl alone and just concentrate on US. However, I can still look, can't it?
It's a bitch when you are competing for the same girl with your fianc�, isn't it?
"I have a switch in my apartment... it doesn't do anything.... Every once in a while, I turn it on and off.... One day I got a call... it was from a woman in France.... She said "Cut it out".... "
*Steven Wright*
Beginning Weight: 204.5
Goal #1: 184
Total lost: 16.0
Pounds to go: 4.5
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