Digital Bastard readout: 203.5! That's a consistent reading, if I ignore all of the higher readings. I have not eaten a snack of any kind in over a week, more like 2 weeks. I have not eaten lunch out. I have not had anything sweeter than an apple. I am drinking 2 bottles of water a day, which is 2 bottles more than I used to drink. I have just 2 words to say about all of this: 1: Fuck. 2: This 3: Shit.

I have 4 possible theories about this God damned non-weightloss status. First of all, I refuse to believe it. Not only am I not snacking, I don't have any desire to. Yesterday I completely missed breakfast AND lunch. I just forgot. I know it's not a good thing to do, in fact I know that eating regular light meals will promote weight loss more than fasting. But I am eating either a small bowl of cereal or a cup of low fat yogurt for breakfast, a low fat chicken or turkey sandwich on whole grain bread (NO condiments nor cheese), water, and a home cooked supper (I know the bulk of my calories are at this meal). Could I do more to promote weight loss? Duh. Of course I could. But the fact remains that I have cut my intake of calories EASILY by 1/2 and there is no payoff. So. Here are the theories, in no particular order.

1. Since I have been taking cold pills, I haven't been taking the "X" and therefore, I my metabolism may have slowed down to nothing (again). And (again) if anyone feels inclined to write me and suggest that exercise would get my metabolism going, I will simply reply with "fuck you."

2. The digital bastard has joined forces with the Taliban in an organized plot to wound Americans and break our morale.

3. My sinuses and lungs are filled with five pounds of mucus.

4. The shanker I am carrying on my lower lip is a whopping five pounder. The shanker (perhaps crater is a better descriptor) is a result of biting my lip. Yes, in some kind of feeding frenzy during supper a few nights ago, I consumed my own flesh. THAT'S how hungry I get sometimes.

So. What I am at this moment is a double wide purple haired mucus filled shanker carrying theorist.

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