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Wednesday, Oct. 31, 2001 - 5:42 P.M.
Where Are The Tricksters?
Ok, it's time. Where the hell are the little calorie beggars????? The official Trick or Treating began an HOUR ago. We had 5 little non-English speaking midgets show up 15 minutes early, and Finchie turned into an anal retentive Scrooge, wanting to deny them any goodies because it wasn't time yet. Geesh. So I butted in, gave them their candy, made them say "Gracias," and turned on the official "It Is Now Time For Tricks And Treats To Be Dispensed From This House" jack-o-lantern light.
That was an hour ago.
Blimey. I am sitting here looking at enough nerd and shock tart filled gumballs to...well...I don't know. But there are a LOT of them!!!! The bag of Paydays Eldest and I have already pilfered. And Finchie has called dibs on the Sour Patch Kids. SOMEBODY better take these freaking Joe-Blow gum sticks off of my hands or I am going to be pretty damn pissed!
We even have the doorbell thing to match the mood tonight. Nope, I didn't go out and buy anything new or seasonal! I just asked MOTH, a few weeks ago, to install a new doorbell button, one that glows! Not sure why, but when you push in the front doorbell button (the one he replaced) you get a loud crunching sound and the first 2 tones of a Westminster chime. And you can easily differentiate it from the back door, because when you push that one (which he didn't even touch!), you hear a loud static. I love you, MOTH! I DO!
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!?!??!
We wouldn't have let a little terrorism or anthrax ruin our trick or treating! What the heck is with this soft youth?!? If ya want the candy bad enough, you will risk the potential anthrax, the possible razor blades, the occasional shard of glass. I mean, it's TRICKS or treats, remember?!?!?
Ok. Since I wrote last, we have had a few more, not many, and only one who spoke English. Geesh, I'm not trying to start anything here, but what's up with that?!?! And it is pretty lame that not one kid has it together to even say "Trick or Treat!" They don't say anything. The parent calls out "THANK YOU!" form the sidwalk. Anyway, I used to think that there was nothing cheesier than high school kids putting on a stocking cap and begging. I've changed my mind. Teenage mothers with babies who leave them at the curb so they can run up and get a treat make me sick. I made sure they only got the crappy gumballs. I'm not giving up a PayDay for that nonsense. The digital bastard is in for the time of his life tomorrow morning!
Whoops, gotta go! I hear static!
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