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Thursday, Jun. 01, 2006 - 9:38 P.M.
Trimming the Pills
I'm cutting my daily calorie intake, and I'm beginning with the number of pills I take each day. I had a little sit-down with the Doc the other day in between the lump assessment, and voiced some serious concern about my current medicinal regime. Basically, I have the dreaded "Draggin' Ass Syndrome," not to be confused with the "Dragon Ass Syndrome" which one suffers after massive consumption of hot tamales. I take a water pill, a blood pressure pill, an anti-depressant, hormone, condroitin, vitamin, and aspirin each morning. And them I'm full until lunch. Both the mood pill (Welbutrin) and the blood pressure (Toprol) have drowsiness warnings on them. Like I really need prescription lead-ass. I am so tired I literally hold my eyes open as I drive home one-handed, I am not safe to be behind a wheel. I am hyper-sensitive to meds, so an ibuprofen can make me sleepy. So with what I'm taking, there are days when if I had to exert myself to breathe, I would die. If I had the energy to get up and put on a Depends diaper, I'd just pee at will. Instead, I suppress the urge until I am ready to burst before I hoist myself up to void.
If this isn't what Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is, then it must resemble a coma, I can't get any more lethargic. And what does this lethargy do? Makes me less active, which makes me gain more weight. Makes me less productive, which weighs on my mind at 3 AM. Not exactly good for depression, so why bother with the fucking anti-depressant????
So, with the Doc's permission of course, I am weaning off the meds. I have a legally binding agreement with my family that I stay on the hormones for the rest of my life. The water pill is gone! Yay! And I am titrating off the Toprol slowly and taking a new pill, I think it's a blood pressure/water pill combo. The scary thing is that for the first time in almost 5 years, I will be anti-depressant-free. It scares me. Not being without so much, but the titrating off of them. I didn't do so good last time even though I followed the Doc's directions exactly. This time, I am titrating off completely within one week instead of two. Granted, this time I am coming off of Welbutrin instead of Effexor, but the psychosis that accompanied the withdrawal last time does have me a bit nervous.
So keep an eye on me, folks. I have to call and get that ultrasound picture of my gall bladder, I need to schedule a sleep study, get the lump in my armpit removed, and go for the mammoslam. Jesus I hate aging. In a few years, I get to schedule a poke up the ass. Kinda makes life worth living, doesn't it?
I am thinking of adding a new pill to my slimmed down regime as soon as I have myself stable (yeah, like I've ever been stable). Get ready for the Hoodia adventure, coming soon to a blog near you.
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