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Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004 - 8:57 P.M.
Would You Vote For Him?
I'm tired of the pre-election crap. I know who has my vote and why. However, I wanted to check out a race on which I had not yet committed my vote. I went to Vote-Smart.org.
That's where I became familiar with the "man" pictured above. He is a candidate for the President of the United States. His is Mr. HRM Caesar St Augustine De Buonaparte Emperor. And he belongs to "The Good Party."
Don't really care about the election? Think you have no choices? There are over 70 candidates this election year! Many of them actually have platforms on which they're running. The Emperor does.
I found myself drawn to Mr. Larry J. Schuetter, not because of his platform, but because he belongs to the "Turtle" Party.
How sad it was that Mr. Michael Ross Tunick Strauss, of "Mike's Party" couldn't be bothered to even fill out his political platform despite requests from MSNBC, CBS News, Cox Newspapers, Knight Ridder, National Journal, MTV, New Hampshire Public Broadcasting, Tucson Citizen, St. Paul Pioneer Press, Portsmouth Herald, Nashua Telegraph, Iowa Public Radio, Ames Daily Tribune Cedar Rapids Gazette, Iowa City Press, The State (SC), WHYY Philadelphia, San Jose Mercury News, Geraldine Ferraro, Former Democratic Congresswoman, Michael Dukakis, Former Democratic Governor, Bill Frenzel, Former Republican Congressman, Jim Leach, Republican Congressman, Richard Kimball, and the Project Vote Smart President. Excuse me, but why the hell are Geraldine Ferraro and Mike Dukakis asking a candidate from "Mike's Party" about his platform????
It was all fun and games until I realized how close my views matched those of Candidate Mr. Michael W. 'Mike' Bay, as reflected by his answers to the 2004 Presidential National Political Awareness Test. The problem? He is the candidate from the "National Barking Spider Resurgence Party." Yeah.
I don't encourage anyone to waste a vote, especially in this election year. But I suppose if you really can't endorse either candidate, until we have a "none of the above" option on the ballot, one of these candidates might be an option for you.
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