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Friday, Feb. 09, 2007 - 5:08 P.M.

Who's Yur Daddy?


I knew it would be a freak show, and I haven't been wrong. The press is hell-bent on reporting their own story, no matter what the investigators say (or don't) and no matter what the coroner's report (or don't). The fact that the medical examiner's head is like completely lopsided didn't seem out of place in this case at all, did it?

I cannot state the names of the drugs that were found in her room, although I can report that all drugs found were prescription drugs. No illegal drugs were found.
Can you tell us the names of the drugs?
I cannot state the names of the drugs that were found in her room, although I can report that all drugs found were prescription drugs. No illegal drugs were found.
Can you tell us if any illegal drugs were found?
I cannot state the names of the drugs that were found in her room, although I can report that all drugs found were prescription drugs. No illegal drugs were found.
Can you tell us if she took an massive amount of drugs?
There was no evidence of pills in her stomach, which would lead to a conclusion that she most likely did not take a massive amount of drugs prior to her death.
Were there illegal drugs in her body?
There was no immediate evidence of illegal drugs.
Might she drank a massive amount of illegal drugs just prior to her death?
Might she have snorted massive amounts of illegal drugs just prior to her death?
Might she have injected massive amounts of illegal drugs just prior to her death?
Did she appear to have damage from long term heavy illegal drug use?
and so on....and so on....and so on....


Here's what he said. NO evidence of illegal drugs in her stomach, such as pill shells. NO toxicology reports will be available for 3-5 weeks. NO apparent damage to suggest long term drug use. NO evidence of foul play. SOME evidence of recent illness. In other words, NO real information to the cause of death for 3-5 more weeks. Speculate to your heart's content. Here's an added spice: According to Entertainment Tonight, Anna told friends she wanted to be buried next to her son Daniel in the Bahamas. Really?

Back to the topic at hand, WHO is the rightful owner of the possible future billionheiress baby Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern?


Howard?



Larry Dickhead?



Fred?

WHO?????

Just to keep things status quo in the freak department, another donor has tossed his sperm into the "Dannielynn is my child" ring. 64 year old Prince Frederick von Anhalt, husband to the 90+ year old bag of smelly wrinkles named Zsa Zsa Gabor claims he is the dad. "If you go back from September, she wasn't with one of those guys, she was with me.") He said he would file a lawsuit if Dannielynn is turned over to Stern or Birkhead. ZaZa's spokesman has said that Von Anhalt is a "chronic fabricator. It is embarrassing and ludicrous." I assume he is referring to his paternal claim, not the fact that he lays next to that Hungarian scumbag every night. Do I really need a disclaimer copping to the incredibly poor photoshop attempt of Anna's head on Zsa Zsa's body? I feel I do.

To quote one local news reporter, "How many planes landed on that runway?" Plenty, it seems, although Anna isn't around to confirm or deny. This child is gold right now. 3 possible dads (as of this writing) and a "mommie dearest" grandmother all vying for custody.

Poor baby Dannielynn. Her mother's nakedness is and forever will be all over the Internet. The film of her resuscitation attempts are out there too (although having viewed it, it really could be ANYONE on that gurney). Who'd have thought her life would be less crazy if Anna had actually lived to raise her?


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