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Aside from that, I was in awe. I feel for the families who did not want this aired. I empathize with them not wanting to see their love ones' deaths over and over. They can join the ranks of the victims' survivors of Pearl Harbor, Vietnam, and let's not forget the Kennedy family. I can't begin to know how hard this is for them, and I thank God every day for such ignorance. I don't feel for the asshole I heard on the radio this morning bitching about the rough language in the program. Hey crap hole, fuck you, ok? These guys did one HELL of a job editing this film. The first clue that real people made the film (as opposed to the news media) was that when they encountered 2 women on fire, they turned their cameras away because "no one should ever see this."

I thank God that we have heroes such as the firemen documentaried last night, who show up and sometimes just wait for a crisis to occur so they can help. I also thank God that the people of this country don't have to rely on me to do the same. I watched those men run, not walk, to those towers. I watched them not even think about whether it was safe for them to go in. I was nearly ill over the thunderous sounds of bodies hitting the balconies and ground. Oh my God. I hadn't even known there were so many who jumped! And these guys KNEW that sound! "Those are jumper," I heard the one guy say to the camera dude. Holy shit. And then...All of those men trying to get out, and they couldn't leave by the closest exit because of rainfall of bodies. They would have been killed by people who had taken a sure leap to death rather than be burned to death.

I didn't sleep well last night. I don't remember my dreams, but I know that the images and sounds that I heard in that documentary plagued me. I can't begin to imagine what those who actually saw it and heard it and smelled it first-hand do to get through the day.

I am not a hero. I can't see myself running into danger like that. I know I'm not alone in my cowardice. It was sad to find out that these guys pretty much no longer have a "love" for the job anymore. They still feel committed, but they don't revel in it, they don't love it anymore. It hurt them. Irrevocably. I am so sad about that. This happens so many times to our heroes. They see things and experience things that change them forever, things that no human is prepared to see, things that no human should ever have to experience. Our veterans. Our firemen. Our (honest) policemen. They are our heroes. They are our Superheroes. Most of the times we don't even know their names.

Thank you, Masked Man!

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