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October 13, 2003: I call after 5 PM to hear the jury lottery numbers. If your number is called, you must appear. If you are not called, you are dismissed. According to the recording, only jurors 1-175 need appear. I'm off the hook.

October 25, 2003: I receive a letter from the court chastising me for failing to appear for jury duty. I will be rescheduled, but am warned about the legalities. To clear my name, I call the number provided and plea my case, give them my juror number. I am then informed that the numbers do not stay the same, and had I looked harder, I would have seen that my juror number had been changed to #50. D'OH! I am rescheduled for December 9, with a juror number of 9!

October 9, 2003: I have everything in order at school for the next few days on the off chance that I actually get assigned a case. All around me are people telling me how to spout off and be opinionated in order to not be chosen.

8:00 A.M. Dressed and ready to go, I indulge in a game of BookWorm Deluxe until it is time to go.

8:45 A.M. I arrive 15 minutes early, lock my car, and empty my purse and pockets to go through the heightened security of the court house.

8:55 A.M. At jury check in, I reach in my purse to pull out my juror profile which I dutifully filled out the evening prior, only to find that I had not grabbed the juror profile from the kitchen table this morning, but instead was presenting my Pampered Chef receipt from last night's party. D'OH!

8:57 A.M. Back in line with a new form, I check in and receive my gold "Juror" badge to wear with pride for the day, and am invited to take a seat in the "lounge," a quite pleasant area with many couches, tables, a television area, vending machines, and work cubicles.

9:02 A.M. My number, "9," is called along with 15 others to go into the Coroner's Inquest group. After listening to what a great deal it would be (a guarantee of 1 day only), I find myself in the randomly selected 8 to be cut and re-entered into the general jury pool.

9:05 A.M. I find a woman from our church with whom I sit and chat.

9:15 A.M. I eat a quarter of a cheese sandwich, finish a second complimentary cup of bad coffee, and am ordered into a conference room where we watch a sadly and severely dated movie about the court system and the jury process. It is so old that the old court house is featured, which has been closed for nearly 2 decades.

9:30 A.M. I eat 2 more quarters of my cheese sandwich, drink more coffee, pee, and begin to work on a plan to develop and market a life-skills program for our school.

10:00 A.M. The cheese sandwich is gone. I continue to work.

10:20 A.M. A group of numbers is called for the first jury selection, 24 in all, including my friend from church. I nibble on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and buy a Diet Coke.

10:45 A.M. My friend returns, telling me that was cut from in jury selection from a 2-day trial involving a medical issue. She works in the medical field. I read 2 newspapers, an old Biography magazine, decide that I might subscribe, eat another PB&J quarter, pee again, and enter a discussion with the church lady and 3 others who were cut from that pool. Apparently, the assumption was that they were cut based upon their gender.

11:40 A.M. We are released for lunch. Church lady is going home, since we don't have to be back until 1, I decide perhaps I will go shopping. I eat the remainder of my PB&J on the way to the car.

11:50 A.M. I realize that the ignition key for the car is not the same key that unlocks the door, that key being on a separate keyring currently hanging on a hook on the inside of my kitchen door.

11:52 A.M. I call MOTH who volunteers to come home and get the key, but I decide to wait until my parents are home later to bring it to me. I walk back to the court house.

11:56 A.M. I again go through the security, this time they check out my cell phone and pager, apparently they changed policy since the morning session (or perhaps they just woke up?)

12:00 P.M. I work on the Life Skills plan some more, wish I had a lap top, drink more coffee, eat 2 of the fudge striped shortbread cookies I brought.

12:30 P.M. I decide to go for a walk outside to get air.

12:31 P.M. Upon seeing the freezing rain, I change my mind and re-enter the jury lounge.

12:32 P.M. I lounge.

1:00 P.M. A group of jurors from the day before is called back to the courtroom for their case.

1:01 P.M. I dream about going home.

1:02 P.M. I pee again and decide that a water pill in the morning and this many cups of coffee, free or not, is probably not a good thing.

1:04 P.M. I clean my fingernails.

1:05 P.M. I chew a piece of gum.

1:06 P.M. In an attempt to hide the fact that I nearly choked on my gum, I inadvertently swallow it. D'OH!

1:07 P.M. I find an old People magazine and skim through it, however I find no interest in the death of John Ritter.

1:10 P.M. I throw caution to the wind and pour myself another cup of coffee.

1:11 P.M. I swallow too large a gulp of very hot coffee and wrestle with all of my instincts to not scream or vomit. I win.

1:15 P.M. I resign myself to a small quiet corner of one of the couches, curl up in a ball and wonder if anyone will notice if I take a nap.

1:16 P.M. Deciding that everyone will notice, I decide not to nap, but just relax.

1:20 P.M. I begin to wonder if I have ADHD or if my coffee intake has gone beyond all reason, so I go to the vending machine to add some chocolate and sugar to the mix.

1:30 P.M. I go to the bathroom and make myself pee, not out of need but out of sheer boredom and a curiosity to see if I can actually force urine from my body when I don't think I need to go.

1:31 P.M. I find that I can pee on command.

1:35 P.M. I study the sides of my fingernails and wish I had a nail file.

1:37 P.M. I sneeze. Twice.

1:38 P.M. I clean my glasses.

1:40 P.M. I untie and tie my shoes.

1:41 P.M. I examine every minute detail of every item in my purse.

1:48 P.M. I change the ring tone on my phone.

1:50 P.M. An announcement! An announcement is made that the jury selection from this morning is still incomplete and they will be calling 8 more jurors to go up for consideration.

Number 3....Number 9....

NINE! NINE! NINE! THAT'S MY NUMBER!!!!!!!!

As the 8 of us gather to actually participate, I see that most of us are female thus not likely to be chosen, but on the other hand, I can at least break out of the lounge for a few minutes! HURRAH!

So the 8 of us go up to the second floor, and wait to be called in. In the hallway, there is all kinds of moaning and groaning about this ordeal and how they don't want to be on a jury and they are going to be all, like, full of attitude so they don't get chosen. And then the doors open and we all go in, and I see none of the afore mentioned bravado. Especially after the judge meets us and greets us with glowing thanks and appreciation of the contribution we are making to the judicial system of America by cooperating.

He tells us the brief details of the case, mentions all of the names involved to see if we know any of the participants. He talks about the professions involved, and asks us if we can reach an un-biased decision. He explains the difference between a criminal case and a civil case, this is a civil case, and asks us our feelings about monetary awards, and those kinds of things.

He does ask if anyone felt that they couldn't be fair and unbiased, and didn't see any of those "attitudes" stick their mitt in the air. So we were all sworn in and were told we'd be questioned by the lawyers one at a time. I figured they'd go in numerical order, but I got called up first.

They seemed interested in my profile, asked me about a class action case I reported on the profile, and the petitioner's council (see, I know the lingo) stuttered over the words "Speech pathologist." Apparently my laughing over his blunder did not constitute bias, because....

2:08 P.M. I GOT CHOSEN FOR THE JURY!!!!!!!!

2:15 P.M. Trial begins. Finally things are moving fast. (That's all I can say about the case until it's over).

4:00 P.M. Recess until tomorrow.

4:10 P.M. I call mom and ask her to come and unlock my car so I can go home.

4:30 P.M. Fly in the door, pee, change into jammies.

4:45 P.M. Begin writing my post.

To be continued.......

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