No it isn't. I'm here to sing it on high.

NO.

IT.

Isn't.

So. What now? A simple Google search on obesity (and by definition I AM morbidly obese, and I know some people hate that term, but that's what I am) shows the preponderance of treatment suggestions involved bariatric surgery. So which is for me? The gastric bypass? Or Lap Banding?

The biggest "pro" for the banding is that it need not be permanent. It is adjustable. Those are 2 very strong pros. However, the cons are, sadly, stronger. Those being that vomiting can make it slip, you have adjustments made by injecting saline into some gadget that stays in you and anyone who's read ANYTHING about me knows I could never handle that. Also, 88% of
the Lap-banders in one large clinical study have had 1 or more adverse effects, and 25% of the patients in the study had the procedure reversed. After banding, for up to 2 days, you can no more than an ice cube, and
absolutely no caffeine for 3-4 months. Carbonated beverages are banned forever and in all likelihood, I'd have to wave a permanent goodbye to steak and pork chops, hamburger, oranges and grapefruits, the seeds and/or skins of all fruits and vegetables, high fiber vegetables such as celery, spicy foods, fried foods, certain spices including cinnamon, pepper, or onion or garlic salt.

But in return for all of that sacrifice, I get two ounces of a protein shake every hour for ten to twelve hours a day in addition to 3 meals of 2 ounces of
Jell-O or other clear liquid "food."

I could just do the regular bypass, have a 4-6 week recovery (like I could afford that), and kiss many of the same foods goodbye forever, as well as my already thinning hair if I fail to ingest adequate amounts of protein.

I just might as well die right now.

I'm really struggling with this. It is NOT a matter of will-power. I have shown plenty of will power in the past, hell I quit smoking with no problem. I don't know what to do. I just can't live like this anymore. Frankly, I just don't WANT to live anymore if the rest of my life is going to be painful. My feet, my knees and my back hurt only give me relief when I fall into a deep sleep, and that's not all that often because of the trouble I have breathing due to this weight.

I can't just throw up my hands and give up either. I mean, not just yet. MOTH tries to say the right thing, but he can't. He doesn't understand, he can't understand. There are damn few people who read this who can. You're lucky. It's NOT a matter of wanting to lose weight, you can't possibly know how much I want this, I've never wanted anything more. But it's like wanting 20 million dollars. It's there in the realm of all possibilities, it's feasible, but it just isn't going to happen, no matter how much I work at it. It's not realistically within my reach. Nor will it ever be.

I am going to see my Dr. I don't think he will be able to help me, but I'll go. I've had all the tests before. I'm not fat because of my thyroid. I'm fat because I consume too much, and I'm fat because I am in such freaking pain I can't move to burn a single calorie.

Anybody out there heard of Zetacap? According to its ad, it works the same way as gastric bypass surgery but instead of blocking the stomach with a staple, it fills the stomach with a "natural balloon" (gas?) that makes it virtually impossible to eat! You will feel full all the time. You just can't eat! Really! That's what they claim. Wanna bet?

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