It all began with this student who is mentally impaired as well as behaviorally challenged. He decided that he was going to do his own thing this afternoon. So, I asked another staff member to assist, and we stood next to the student, each holding an arm. We cleverly refer to this as "hands-on." And we always hope it will end there. Nope. He didn't wanna. So, as he tried to pull away from me, I thought I would set an example as a good administrator and team player by going into our next step, the "standing wrap," which means I move behind the student, wrap my right arm around in front of his chest, and secure it with my left hand. The idea is to sort of immobilize the student, he gets calm and we get back to class. Nah. Not today. He slowly bends over, bringing me up on his back. Yes, my feet left the floor. All of this is in slow motion. He wasn't violent, he was just not going to do what we wanted.

So, with my body up on his back (NOT the correct way to be) and my feet dangling in the air, I make a quick decision. I figure if I kind of jump/jerk down, and back up against the wall and slide down it, my knees will bump against the back of his, and we will go into the next phase of physical management, or the "seated wrap." Except when I start to slide down the wall, a technique we are encouraged to use, he decides to twist yet again, and he lands on his butt, with my leg twisted underneath him. About this time, Pitbull peeks around the corner and starts mocking me. But, once I get my leg out, we are in a standard seated wrap, and all is well.

Until he decides to use the width of the hallway, or lack of it, to his advantage. So I am sitting with my back against one wall, he is sort of in my lap (between my legs rather), and I am holding him with my arms crossed in front of him. I keep my head carefully in a position so that he can't fling his head back and hurt me. Yeah. But he pushes his feet against the wall in front of him, in a move that smashes my back into the wall so hard it (the wall) begins to feel like it's crushing inward. I can't breath. He's squeezing the breath out of me as he pushes harder and harder with his feet on the wall in front of him. And I can't yell out to anyone cuz I CAN'T FRICKIN' BREATH!

Finally, he pushes so hard that his feet go through the wall. Yes. His freaking feet go THROUGH the freaking wall. At which point we then roll over into a prone management, but not before my leg is once again under his body.

I am, I repeat, TOO OLD for this!

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